Two Doctors

What is the point of a multi-Doctor story? If it's sheer fansquooning and showing off, go for Five Doctors. If you prefer character interaction, try Time Crash or Three Doctors. If you want an intelligent approach to the underlying themes of different eras, then I recommend Cold Fusion, which takes the "Doctors meet, then quarrel" premise to it's natural conclusion by dumping Peter "everybody lives!" Davison with Sylvester "now lets think about this practically" McCoy. Or vice versa.

My point is, Two Doctors doesn't do any of this very well. The plot's smartly drawn - no hand of god teaming them up against an apocalyptic power - but it fails on every other level. Aside from the sweet fade from black and white, you get no sense of a different approach between Two and Six. They're separated for most of the story, cutting down on quarrelling time, and bringing back a former Doctor is pointless, really, if you're not going to let them him be the Doctor - 2 is great when he's allowed to be, but reduced to victim status for most of the time (its a curious turnaround from Five Doctors, when it's the younger incarnations who band together to rescue 5). When they are together, it's priceless - but that can only be a sum total of five minutes. 2 has nout to do, and looking for Cold Fusionly undercurrents, all I took away was "how can people still criticise Colin Baker's Doctor, when he holds his own so grandly and well against his former self?". An unfair assessment, as I said 2 wasn't treated well by the script, but the impression remains.

And I did get a proper sense that the two characters were written differently - just count the number of times 2 says the word "Jamie" in the episode. Enough to make me think that LiveJournal might have a point on some issues. 2 as a Gallifreyan toady was an interesting character development; but being a ravening Trial fan, loving the Valeyard as much as any proper incarnation, I found Six's innocent protests that the Timelords would never ever engineer a massacre to protect their secrets completely adorable. I'm getting a great sense of 6's character too - forward planning in a way 5 never bothered with. How many times do companions ask him, both here and in Trial "But how did you know that?", as he reveals a stunning insight and cunning resolution. It's 7 on the way, I tell you; but 6's larger ego means he's always happy to explain.

I'd actually forgotten it was a Sontaran story until a flick through pagefillers refreshed my memory - they're not the dominant image you come away with. Dastari and Chessene are forgettable too - it's Shockeye who holds my attention above any other of the villains. Pity that Ches and Das don't give them any respect - they're playing second fiddle, like the sidelining of the Daleks to Lytton and co. in Ressurrection. A show should never undermine its own bad guys, they're hard enough to take seriously as it is.

Poor Peri. She can't go anywhere without people slathering over her - she even gets jumped on by Jamie, presumably platonically, but I do have my doubts. He certainly makes up for it by the ohsocute kiss at the end. Jamie seemingly hasn't aged a day, and still comes across as adorable as ever. It's a six parter apparently - I watched it edited together into one, and I must say I didn't notice the time pass, assuming it was only four. This puts it one up on Planet of the Spiders automatically.

What I did take away from this episode (aside from the blistering awesomeness of the Sixth Doctor) is the individual setpieces. The Doctor collapsing in the TARDIS (complete with Peri's irresistably sweet "would you like me to get you some celery?"; "I never faint" also amused me greatly), his reaction to meeting Jamie again, Peri's gorgeous reaction to the news that the universe has mere centuries to live. It's a lovely twist on the countdown being in hours, and man does the Sixth Doctor have a way with the poetry when writers give him beautiful lines.

"That is the smell of death, Peri. Ancient must, heavy in the air. Fruit-soft flesh, peeling from white bones. The unholy, unburiable smell of Armageddon. Nothing quite so evocative as one's sense of smell, is there?"

"She can't comprehend. The scale of it all. Eternal blackness. No more sunsets. No more gumblejacks. Never more a butterfly."

"Planets come and go, stars perish. Matter disperses, coalesces into other patterns. Other worlds. Nothing can be eternal."

Oh I could go on, and on.

The scene with the wheelchair is now one of my favourites ever - it reminded me of 5 escaping from the cuffs in Androzani. The Doc gets out of imprisonment all the time, so why not give the scene ten minutes of tension instead of brushing it off with the screwdriver? I like it when the Doctor has to think on his heels, take refuge in practicality, instead of standing on the sidelines and talking his way out. Same goes for the wandering around the spaceship vs the computer - yes, pointless to the main plot, but its a great little sequence, with hundreds of tiny challenges to overcome.

Even though 2Androgum creeped me out - I preferred Six playing it for laughs - I did love the image of the two little tramps wandering into the distance. I always like it when Who gets surreal. I'm also amused that somewhere in the timeline, Doctors 3-5 were experiencing a sudden bizzare craving for food, and then absent mindedly returning to what they were doing non the wiser. I loved the image of Ches bending down to the doctor's blood tooo - it may just have been the creepiest scene in the episode.

Which brings me onto episode 6. Why did Oscar have to die? Why?! I had him pegged as cannon fodder from the start, but then he survived, and survived, and survived. He was harmless, completely harmless, and killed by accident - ironic, yes, but still mean.

And the rest of the violence. Now then. Screen violence is something of a personal obsession - I'm fascinated in what factors make scenes tame or nasty, and how much it affects the audience, and what the Brit Board of Film Classification has to say about it. And the BBFC have things to say about knives.

Because when you die in DW, usually you die clean. Daleks, Cybermen, anything else with laser guns - beam of light, you fall over, and that's it. When people get shot with proper guns, they also have the decency to fall down quietly. Proper death agony is quite rightly avoided - we're still in kids TV, although I maintain Miss Evangelista's ghosting is as close as we'll ever get to it.

But a knife. The BBFC don't like it because its a household object - that much closer and copyable. But they're also scarier to watch - because imagining a gunshot is abstract, most of us don't have a comparable experience; but we all know what it is to catch our finger on a knife, the flesh, the blood, the moment before the pain hits. Now imagine that, but bigger, and you have some very graphic detail running through the minds of the kiddies at home. Watching him prowl around Peri and Jamie with a massive shiny blade was terribly unsettling. Stabbing Oscar may just be the most violent piece of violence in the show ever.

Actually injuring the Doctor isn't something that happens all that often too. I'm still not entirely over the gunshot wound in Deadly Assassin - look, blood, actual Gallifreyan blood! They get the intergalactic space ketchup out for Androzani too, and its similarly unnerving. And yet here we go, Dastari threatening to go Mr Blonde on Two with a pocket chainsaw, and Shockeye smashing Six in the leg with a meat cleaver. Even if the watershed prevented the medically accurate fountain of blood at this point, I could still see it in my mind, and I was crunched up with sympathy for the rest of the episode (kudos to Colin Baker for remembering to limp)

And that's not to mention the very violent Sontaran death, complete with green slime and disembodied legs, or all the gross-out moments of savagery, or Two also participating in some death, or thinking too hard about what's in what we eat. And then there's Shockeye. It's calculating, it's direct, and it's actually physically picking someone up and holding them struggling till they're dead. And yes it's different from shooting the Cyberleader, in a desperate passion, or cunningly dispatching Solon from a distance where he can't see his face. I wouldn't go so far to call it out of character, but it is scary. Death follows the Doctor everywhere, but this is murder plain and simple. I'm not sure Shockeye deserves it either - the Doc's dismissal of the Androgums goes so far that at times I'd almost call it racism, which is a very nasty word for TV's cleanest hero to wear. The Doctor has often let calculatingly evil creatures off the hook, so killing Shockeye for doing what he claims is his unchangeable nature seems grossly unfair. I suppose you can call "self defence". That knife is, as we have already noted, very big indeed.

I'd heard that Mary Whitehouse had chased after 80s Doctor Who - at the time I thought "shame", because I like a good bit of violence, and everyone prefers Doctor Who when it gets dark. And individually, these incidents are almost within the bounds of what is decent. But the cumulative effect of all these things makes me think "this really is all a bit too far". It's the opposite of Caves - which is almost as dark and nasty, but in a very subtle and ironic way that would be mostly missed by the kiddies at home (I'm sure some of the things that Jek said were played on by my own twisted imagination, because he couldn't possibly have meant the things I thought he did...!). Here, the nastiness is obvious - it's everywhere, it's garish and grim, and not really all that much fun to sit through.

But maybe in a good way. Disturbing can be good. It's very unusual. I like the way it becomes several different things, I like the practical way the characters move from incident to incident - it feels real. And that's about the highest accolade you can give any sci-fi.

Scary Moments: The Valeyard

But first, I want to talk about Through the Dragon's Eye - an adventure from the Look and Read team that's traumatised me for life ever since we were shown it at primary school. It was good sub-Narnia stuff - children are taken to save a fantasy world because (and here's the education) they can read and the locals aren't, and they need to read the book of the Veetacore to put some big mystical McGuffin back together before the world disintigrates. Or something. I watched this when I was 8 or 9, and remember it with the terrifying clarity which you might recall your first Dalek, or The Singing Ringing Tree or something. Things which scare you in your youth never really go away.

As I discovered when, miraculously, one of my senior school friends not only remembered it, she had it on video. Coming back to face a childhood nightmare is the type of thing recommended by sadistic shrinks only in the most tedious movies; and yet there we were, on a sweet sixteen sleepover, reliving one of the most brilliant and terrifying experiences of my youthful years.

You can tell by body language when someone is scared. I generally curl up and try to vanish into the sofa. The reappearance of Charn, Dragon's Eye's villain, had me behind a cushion. And that's nothing on my friend's reaction.

The Valeyard has exactly the same effect on me, and he hasn't been lodged in my subconscious for 10 years. Is it the chilling delivery? His implacable expression? Or just the discovery that part of the Doctor's mind is given to wearing black, saying "my dear" and chuckling after all? Even the Trial of a Timelord theme tune gives me a little thrill.


That he presents a genuine threat to the Doctor helps - Trial-Doctor is completely powerless to influence the events on screen, producing a sense of helpless onlooking the entire way through - like watching the ship crash in Earthshock, or the TARDIS fry in Journey's End - but worse, because it's already happened.


The threat of a council of Timelords is also far scarier than any number of armed opponents. There's no way he can talk his way out of this one, make a quick escape, happen upon a ventilation duct or make a break for it. The immediate danger is less - but there's no point at which he is entirely safe.

He manages to actually reduce the Doctor to a stunned silence for most of Mindwarp - the number of people who've ever succeeded in shutting him up this completely can surely be counted on the fingers of one hand? And Six is meant to be the belligerent one. He knows more than the Doctor too, another unusual situation - his true identity, for one thing; all the Gallifrey background; what's really going on in the Matrix. The revelation in Ultimate Foe makes it all twice as bad - the endless fun of multi-Doctor squabbling takes on a sinister turn, as the Valeyard looks on his former self with icy distaste, and knows exactly how to make him bleed. Peri is case in point. And after 90 minutes of "I have to save Peri!" in Caves, the Doctor's total indifference and declaration that he values his own life over hers becomes even harder to watch (incidentally, Mindwarp along with Curse of Fenric are eligible for the Planet of Fire award: when good Doctors turn bad)

He's everything the Doctor isn't. Still, calm, capable of staying in the same place for more than half a minute. Cold and unemotional - pick your favourite Doctor rant on the values of love and compassion, any of them will do. I'm sure the Valeyard has no more appreciation for a well cooked meal than the Cybermen do. Evil, of course. But also a Gallifreyan toady - happy to abide by their rules, and agreeing with their way of doing things. At the same time, little touches - like the fact his Matrix is pinched straight from Dickens - prove he's still our guy.

I haven't read any of the Sixth Doctor novels, but what I know of them has "not becoming the Valeyard" turn into a major part of his agenda. Regressing to Fiveish dilemmas again, not wanting to do morally bad things for good reasons because the last thing he wants turn out this rotten. I like that idea a lot. Its also nice to know he evidently scares the Doctor about as much as he scares me.

Its a tragedy for everyone that the Valeyard will never be addressed in the new series. Eventually, we'll get to a point between the 12th and 13th regenerations. No one is going to want to address something this continuity heavy, especially because Trial is widely regarded as the worst bit of Who ever, and everyone seems to want to forgot the 80s even happened. But I found an internet theory that is a genuinely exciting idea.

Just like odd bits of the Doctor's past have been covered up by the Other (Cold Fusion seems to suggest Susan is his granddaughter, which clears that matter up tidily), I like the suggestion that sex-doll-Doctor in the parallel universe from Journey's End is going to turn into the Valeyard. It makes a sort of sense. He's still the Doctor, but isn't quite (cf: the Other). It removes the need for a canonsqudging McGuffin which magically glues his dark side together - he's already the Doctor. And it also makes sense that he would get twisted...

The Doctor effectively tells Rose that what she's got is the Ninth Doctor all over again - murderous and pissed off. Its a cute idea that she'll make him better for a second time.

But I don't think Doctor Mk2 and Rose are going to have a married bliss. Stranded on Earth? Without a time machine? Filling in tax returns and arguing over curtains. I know its what the Doctor's kind of always wanted - an ordinary life - but he doesn't want it really. It's an ideal, not a practical idea. And if you don't believe me, watch anything with the Third Doctor in. Nine's always reminded me of Three anyway, so dumping him in the same timezone for good sounds like a disaster waiting to happen. And what's he going to do when there's a war on, or an earthquake, or an alien invasion but Rose is at her mum's for the weekend and he's got to mind the kids, and the limitations of Earth transport mean he can't possibly go and help. Somehow I don't think subscribing to Amnesty International would keep him happy. Both he and RTD spend two whole seasons pointing how much more fun they're having in outerspace than her old TV-n-chips lifestyle. From Rose's point of view, she looked mighty disappointed when Doctor Mk1 left - not to mention the fact she's as much married to Donna Noble than she is our favourite Timelord. And he's adorable yes, but surely she's in love with the lifestyle too.

And before you say "yes but the unfilmed script or deleted scenes had him handing over a grow-yer-own TARDIS", my response is a) I think it makes a bizzare sequence where RTD pleases both camps by fobbing Rose off with a ripoff-Doctor even more bizzare to add a ripoff TARDIS b) surely it can't be that easy? What about growing them out in deep space so accidental leakage doesn't accidently blow up any planets or destroy the vortex? Where's he going to keep it, the shed? and c) even with a time machine, there will still come a point when Rose wants to settle down for something tangible in her life. With 50% of marriages ending in divorce, how do you think they'll do with all the added complications? Even if he is human.

The human thing is a problem in my theory, but if the Master can extend his life by nefarious means, then the Doctor's certainly smart enough to. Especially (grumble) if he's managed to grow his own TARDIS in a shoebox behind the fridge.

So here's what I'm saying - the idea was someone elses, but this is my projection:

Things with Rose sooner or later inevitably go sour. Maybe it's being irreversably alien in personality, even if not physically. Maybe it's thinking Cyber ships are a great tourist destination for the kids. Maybe he just gets terribly bored. Even if he loves her enough to want to stay for the rest of his life, the responsibility of having to stay will drive him nuts. Domestic anguish ensues. Falling out with your true love can screw anyone up. Doctor Mk1's plan for Rose's healing touch to redeem Mk2 backfires. Especially because it's not simply coaxing the Doctor back to his natural self - she's dealing with 50% Donna, who maybe is irreversably murderous. Mk2 retains the Dalek-killing-for-the-greater-good streak*. It's only a small step from that to deciding the destruction of all life on Earth is a good idea to hide Timelord paperwork.

*a key trait I've identified in Nine is the tendency to think like a Gallifreyan at first. Contact with Rose (young, compassionate, instead of ancient and cold) is what turns him back into the "everybody lives" guy (see his cool dismissal of Mickey's death in Rose).

Too outlandish? If you ask me, it's an awesome theory. We've got two doctors to go before they have to deal with it, but this is a brilliant idea if they don't.


So here I am, watching Trial of a Timelord, and I find myself moving further and further back into my chair, and increasingly I'm not drying my hair with that towel, I'm actually hiding behind it. Its no secret that I'm easily scared, but the Valeyard is a special case. He even manages to pull off the chilling final shot of the whole sequence without it seeming cheap.

TRIAL OF A TIMELORD - REVIEW

http://www.amazon.co.uk/Time-Unincorporated-Doctor-Fanzine-Archives/dp/1935234021

A new-old fan's list of resolutions - redux

"Peer pressure is a killer. And hence, I produce the list of eight resolutions that I need to write down so I don't forget them while associating with my fellow fans. "
I wrote this list three months ago for http://www.pagefillers.com/dwrg/, the best Whoreivew site on the web. I feel its time for a small edit - so lets go through and see if my resolutions still stand.
1. I will never stop loving Adric.
When I made the leap back, fate sent a copy of Keeper of Traken into my hands. The first thing that struck me about this pre-Rose world was his character. A companion who isn't a 20-something Earth girl - an alien, a chap and someone who can hold their own in the sci-fi world. I thought his relationship with the Doctor was really watchable. With a show based around a hero with the infectious enthusiasm of a ten year old, the idea of pairing him with a genius child was very appealing. I even liked his costume!
As soon as I got onto the web, I discovered I was in a minority of one.
I'm not sure where the hate comes from. Like liking one Baker, or disliking the other, this just seems to be one of those things you do. He's bratty and annoying - but how many 14-year-old kids do you know? Or people who are really clever, and know it? I'm also not sure where anyone got the idea his acting is worse than anyone else's, especially when paired with Tegan (who would improve somewhere after Time Flight) and Nyssa (who, to my knowledge, doesn't have the faintest idea what acting is or what possible use it could have). But a dodgy performance never prevented me from loving Nyssa, or coming to love Tegan, and it sure as hell won't put me off Adric.
Is it just a generation of bitter kids who've grown up and realised with the cynicism of middle age that he was meant to persuade them to study hard at school? In any case, kudos to the writers who granted him one of the most brilliant companion exits ever. It's hard to deny Earthshock is a good episode and even his militant haters couldn't ignore the impact of its ending. (I speak from experience here - somewhere a few episodes into Logopolis, me and Miss Jovanka fell out. From that point, she annoyed me no end - I cheered when she was temporarily left behind at Heathrow. I was quite looking forward to her real departure - but when it came, it was so good I rethought her whole character, fell in love and watched her remaining episodes in a totally new light.)
On this matter I am still inflexible. Adric is a worthy companion, his relationship with both his doctors is priceless, and it really is peer pressure that prevents more people from giving him a chance.
2. I will never stop loving Rose.
I never had an opinion one way or the other on Rose. Adorable, certainly, and also my benchmark for what a companion should look like. Now I've watched a bit wider, she also seems to be the Doctor's benchmark too - he shows a marked preference for young Earthgirls lacking in knowledge but make up for it with a sort of native intelligence (Jo, Ace and Rose to name three)
Wheras enquiring after Adric brought me a barrage of baseless hate, meeting the Rose fans had quite the opposite effect. Somehow, her character is inextricably tangled with the were-they-weren't-they of the first series. The people making videos to Coldplay tunes, and overlaying romantic lyrics on colour-tinted wallpapers. The other people, carrying the "you're a beautiful woman, probably" quote as a banner of distinction.
For the record: I don't have an objection to the Doctor being in love; I think it's highly unlikely someone as caring as he could spend that long alone and not be. I think there are several people in the Doctor's history you can point to and argue for perfectly eloquently (Jo and Rose being two of them). But please, it's done subtle in the show, so leave it subtle in the fanon...
But I digress. Dealing with these people was like dealing with the religious. There are hundreds of quietly practicing Rose fans out there, happily loving her and whatever relationship she may or may not have shared with our favourite Timelord. And then there are the extremists, the people who come to your door and give you leaflets, and start wars about it.
It's not the idea of it, but the way it was done - not by the show, but by that slice of fandom. The sheer cheesiness of the fanfiction. The use of Coldplay; never forgiveable. The implication that she was the love of his life. A love, yes, but life does go on. It might be hard, but he will get over it eventually. After all, it's not like she's dead; separated from him, but with everybody she loves (see: #1 Adric)
For me, the Ninth Doctor was all about the Time War. He ended it, resulting in the destruction of his planet, his race and the Daleks - and after that, his every act was one of repentance. From trying to help the Gelth and Nestine Consciousness whom he robbed of a home, to refusing to make the same decision a second time in Parting of the Ways. He's even thinking like a Gallifreyan when he arrives on Earth, with his callous comment about Mickey's death being insignificant compared to the bigger picture, while the concept of destroying the planet to save the universe is the ultimate Sensible Time Lord Decision. Rose is everything the Time Lords weren't. They are old and wise, she's nineteen and filled with life. She cares about a single Dalek, despite the threat it poses; the High Council were prepared to execute the Doctor for the potential threat he posed in Arc of Infinity, or remove San Fransisco from history to deal with a few vampires in Vampire Science. And he's on his own. Under the circumstances, we can allow him to lose at least one of his hearts.
Watching Sarah Jane's relationship with the Fourth Doctor has restored my faith (very similar to the Doctor and Rose in series 2; larking around the universe in a pretty cute way, and occasionally rescuing it from peril), while selective internet browsing has cut down on the amount of infuriating people I have to put up with. Let me revel in how nice Rose really was.
No, I haven't stopped liking her. Loving her, maybe. I still think she's brilliant in context - i.e. Series 1 and 2. Her Series 4 return was bizzarely unecessary, because her newfound sense of strength and knowledge took away one of her character basics. Wielding a gun and explaining the plot to Donna made her seem less of the no-hope Earthgirl we'd got to love. And no companion should be forced to share the screen with Donna Noble, really. Its just not fair. In the wake of Rose getting, erm, her own Doctor, I have completely ignored the internet response. 
3. I will never compare the old and new series.
I've got a better perspective on this than most here, starting in 2005 and working backwards. Chrisopher Eccleston is my nostalga Doctor, and he's only two years gone. There's really nothing to choose between them. It's all one show. It's all one character. Books count too. And audios. And comics. Though not the bad ones. That's the comfort of the canonicity debate: if a piece of non-TV fiction rubs you the wrong way, then you have an excuse to forget it entirely.
Never have, never will. I mean, yes I compare - Black Orchid and Wasp and the Unicorn? Sontaran Stratagem as an update of Resurrection of the Daleks. But I'm still very against anyone who uncatagorically loves one and hates the other, because I still believe both can be appreciated more in light of what has come before/ is coming. What a waste to still be stuck in 1973, and miss seeing Doctor Who in shiny CGI with exciting direction and a modern approach to storytelling. And what a waste to be so addicted to the look of the new series to ignore the story potential in the old. Really, I still can't say strongly enough, that people who entirely disregard either new or old series are truly missing out on half the show. Isn't Genesis of the Daleks all the more fun for knowing about the Time War? And wasn't Sarah Jane and Davros wonderful in Journey's End?
4. I will never admit to having a favourite Doctor.
I don't have a favourite Hamlet. I don't even have a favourite James Bond. I love them all in different ways, because they all show up different aspects of the same character. This is slightly hypocritical; my random approach to the series means I still haven't seen 1, 2, 6 and 7 (properly), but it's highly unlikely given the before examples that I will find any serious problems.
I have now delved into every doctor save no.1 (if appearing on a screen for Three Doctors doesn't count), and having a solid favourite seems as unlikely as ever. I feel that in the future I will be able to do some serious clumping - in the wake of Curse of Fenric, I feel I might love the 7th Doctor more, even though I don't love any others any less. Anyway, it's hard to pick on performance alone - otherwise Colin Baker would be at the top of a few more lists. Yes, I'm halfway through Trial of a Timelord. Yes he's bloody brilliant, even if the casing isn't. You're not just choosing a Doctor, you're choosing an era. Companions, episodes, writing, production values, interesting storylines, childhood memories. A problem I'm beginning to have with the 3rd Doctor is I'm just not loving his adventures. He's awesome, and so's UNIT. But Inferno is still the only episiode I've loved, which is why I'm unfailingly more excited about watching Peter Davison instead. Its not the Doctor. Its the whole era thang.
5. I will never stop loving Resurrection of the Daleks
After Logopolis, I continued as chronologically as the BBC DVD releases would let me, and the first one which really hit me on an emotional level was this. Peter Davison instantly became one of my top ten favourite Doctors (irony intentional), Tegan really did become one of my favourite companions. Turlough excited my curiosity enough to order the entire Black Guardian trilogy off Amazon. I loved the punishing level of unecessary violence (it's still got the highest death toll of any story I've counted: 57), thought the "minor characters we want you to sympathise with" were actually sympathetic, and was, for the first time ever, properly scared by the Daleks. New series ones don't quite cut it in the same way. And all this in a story where the Doc spends two episodes tied to a table.
Since then, it has paled. I never understood the plot, it just gets more unnecessarily tangled. Cloning is done better in Android Invasion. Everything is done better in Genesis of the Daleks. Mind control is just overdone.
Maybe I've been watching better episodes - Mawdryn Undead, or maybe Enlightenment, is now my favourite oldie - or maybe the hate it gets online has got to me. My affection for it remains the same, even if my respect has dipped. There's nothing as horrible as falling out of love and, even though I feel colder from afar, even though if I rewatched it would be as exciting as it did the first time.
But pity my friend. Her first favourite of the old series was Time Flight. Imagine her disappointment when she discovered it was against the club rules!
In the week between Stolen Earth and Journey's End, I watched this again. I can now confirm it is a totally worthy episode, quite brilliant actually. As predicted, I did enjoy it as much on a rewatch as originally, and won't forget it again, even for a moment.
6. I will watch Caves of Androzani
First it was after I've finished the other DVDs. Then the other videos. Then once I order Planet of Fire. Then after all the other episodes. Then after Series Four. I'm not putting it off, honest.
This is my first proper regeneration from a Doctor I really care about and have followed for a long time. I claimed above that I love them all equally, and that's true, but the Fifth Doctor has, so far and from sheer chance, been the only one I've done properly. I've seen over half the episodes, and most of them in the right order. I've got to like all his companions. It's going to be the End, and no matter how many novels and audios I stockpile, that'll be it. It's like Mr Tennant announcing he's going to leave, only worse because it's already happened.
The irony is, excepting Mr Tennant when it comes, he's one of the few Doctors I'm ever going to go through this for. Somebody who knows their stuff better than me should really make a guide for confused new-fans making the leap backwards, because in retrospect I got it wrong. I watched as large a spread of Doctor Who as I could get my hands on, and fate presented me with an insanely high number of regeneration stories. Planet of the Spiders was my first Pertwee. Logopolis was my second Baker. I got to know the Seventh Doctor minutes, nay, seconds before he walks out of the TARDIS and into the TV-movie. At the time, I wasn't particularly upset because I didn't have the background - and once I do, I'll have already gone through it, so I shouldn't be too distressed second time around. I only caught the first series from Dalek, so even Parting of the Ways wasn't that big a deal. I'm anticipating War Games and Survival to be kickers when I get there however...
It's a small consolation that Caves is Everybody's Second Favourite Episode After Genesis of the Daleks. It's another consolation that even the Davison-haters admit its brilliant. It'd help if everyone was less negative about Colin Baker though...

Well I decided I was being ridiculous about this in the run up to Stolen Earth, so I started laying tracks and making time. And then came that cliffhanger - the fake 10 regeneration - which completely spoilt my good intentions, and proved that there really is something to be worried about. Folks, I may never see this episode. After Stolen Earth I was miserable for days. I got ill. I felt sick, couldn't sleep and had a cold, and one of my friends lost her voice. And then after Journey's End, I didn't exactly feel like it; then I was on holiday; now I'm watching Trial of a Timelord. I was honestly gonna do it, but Stolen Earth gave me such a shock it proves I'll be inconsolably glum. And its not like DT's even leaving for good (which I kinda worked out as soon as the suprise wore off). Anyway, I don't want to be stuck with Warriors of the Deep as my last ever episode, right? At least this way I'm saving up something decent...?
7. I will never again read a novel about a Doctor I haven't seen first.Human Nature was the first pdf I plucked off the BBC website. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant, just like its episode. I fell in love with Benny, like everyone else in the known universe (even if it took me a few chapters to establish she was female).
It's gorgeously written, an excellent novel in its own right. Afterwards, seeing the Seventh Doctor on screen (yes, in Dimensions in Time, but it's really the same thing) was a horrible shock. His voice was plain wrong; in my mind, it was something mossy, like Ian Holm's. I'll get over this in time, I suppose, but it's a rule I'm sticking to. I recently gave up on The Eight Doctors halfway through, because I had really enjoyed appearances by the Fifth and Third Doctors, and missed the point of the rest.
Consequently, along with Day of the Daleks, Terror of the Autons, Four to Doomsday and (still) Planet of Fire, ANYTHING with Mr McCoy and Ace is on my list of must-buys. Chiefly so I can read Love and War; it's set in my home town, during the only interesting historical event which has ever affected us... I've been dying to read it, but can't in the name of goodness. Half the joy of both Dying Days and Sands of Time was enjoying how well its respective Doctors had been captured on the page.
What a mess. Well, I've stuck to this and I'm glad. Cold Fusion - 7 meets 5, hilarity ensues - is now my favourite book, by virtue of having waited. Amusingly, I am still sans Day of the Daleks, Terror of the Autons and Four to Doomsday. And it turns out the book I was after was Just War not Love and War, which pissed me off no end. The novel I was actually after is going for £34 second hand on Amazon, which makes me even more angry because I refuse to pay it. Stalemate.
8. I love 6's coat and I'm proud.
Still ain't seen an episode of his, but I think its fantastic. Wait, tell a lie - he's in Dimensions in Time. Telling Ace her new jacket clashes.
I still love the coat. But it does him few favours having seen it on screen. Plus, I'm currently painting the Black Tree Doctor Who minatures (about 2cm high models) of each of the doctors, and my regard for the costume is swiftly divebombing. I did the red piping on 5's jacket. I did the little red questionmarks on 7's sweater. That was fine. But this is impossible.