Four to Doomsday

Viewing recommendation: one at a time, the story is well entertaining enough to sustain it. Mute the spacewalk scene.

Being as I am very alone and a long way from home, it's nice to have four of my friends here with me. I just think this TARDIS team is irresistible. This episode is making a lot of the four different cultures, which I like - most subtly, Adric's overwhelmed reaction to the mathematical impossibility of the whole race being on the ship; most unusually, remembering the emotional cost for Tegan of wanting to be away and home, objecting to watching the death in the Recreational, and not forgetting the death of her aunt; most obnoxiously, the assumption that as Nyssa is a scientist, she's an expert in whatever is convenient this week. Maybe that's why people dislike it - they've never been fond of the quarrelsome, OverCompanioned S19 TARDIS. Personally, I've always thought they were adorable.

Yes, folks, it's time to do that thing we do here again - the one where I watch a bad episode of Classic Who, and completely fail to see what's wrong with it. You might like to look through the archives to catch my reactions to King's Demons, Warriors of the Deep and Trial of a Timelord later, all slightly embarassed, all gushingly positive.

Bad DW is a funny thing.

Actually, sometimes its bloody hilarious, but I wasn't talking about the Myrka. There are episodes that should have worked, but don't - Terminus is one of those, a brilliant episode struggling to get out. There are ones which have problems, but the things which are good are SO good that I forgive them. I can't get over the awesomeness of a Concorde passing through time; Maxil and Castellan are two of my favourite Gallifreyans ever, and there's so much potential in Omega as a character; so so so many things in Trial of a Timelord. It's not just me - we all politely ignore Genesis of the Daleks' flaws - of which there are many - because when it gets great it's practically the second coming. It works the other way too - the strengths in the Visitation* are overwhelmed, in my book, by too much running about and no substance. And then there's the sheer emotional response - I loved Warriors of the Deep, period, and haven't thought too hard about why everyone else disagrees. Four to Doomsday I package with Kings Demons - as in, I don't see why they are bad episodes at all. Actually, I think they're both pretty brilliant - in a calm, considered way.

*edit: see my newer review for an enthusiastic revision of this opinion!

Point one - if Warriors of the Deep can be completely dismissed, seemingly on the strength of the sets alone, then why is this not praised? The beginning reminded me of Enlightnement - the wandering about, the creepy ship, the steampunk coolness of oblivious Earth races being in space. The first episodes are unsettling, and terribly atmospheric. Look at those sets! Logically, I know they must be the same corridors reused and reused, but it never seems like that in the episode itself - it feels like a real ship, confusing and cramped. And look at the Monopticons! Surely one of the best classic-Who effects ever? However "I wouldn't dream of interfering with your monopticons" sounds like filthy Gallifreyan slang for something else entirely, not helped by the entirely sincere delivery.

It's also really nicely directed - the subdued opening with the ship, the sense of dread without any clear reason why. All the surveillance stuff. The long closeup on Adric's disappointment at being stuck with Nyssa; Nyssa's own close up on the approach of the Greek servant. I loved the outrageously daring spacewalk - that's almost new-series level of adorably daft. I just wished someone would have killed the music at this point - because the lack of any diegetic sound was very effective. In future, I'm going to mute my TV for this scene - the music telling us things were dramatic was less dramatic than the tense emptiness of absolute silence would have been.

I'm also amused that the Fifth Doctor gets to meet the other most deadly substance in the universe on his second day.

The Doctor's still not entirely over regenerating yet, is he? Somewhat disorientated, overwhelmed by his companions and demonstrating a suicidal lack of caution. The Doctor is always too curious for his own good, but he seems completely out of his depth here. Normally, he confidently brushes off the thought of danger - here, he doesn't appear to even consider it. I'll let you have "innocent", just this once. The mini character arc 5 goes through is overwhelmingly the best thing in his era, and it's a nasty, nasty shock to see Four to Doomsday straight after all the S21 stuff. "Seemed young for his age, don't you think?" muses the Doctor with a lost expression on his face, as if he still expects to be Tom Baker when he wakes up in the morning. See him try dropping Fourth-style puns and quips, only to have them fall flat! Watch him order his companions around, only to realise it just doesn't work any more (would the Fourth Doctor ever have politely asked his companion whose side he wanted to be on?)! See him instinctively kill off the villain, in a way you will never ever see Five do without flinching again! From a real world perspective, the likely explanation is that it's secretly a Fourth Doctor episode with a different actor delivering the lines. Yet ignoring that, it's still fascinating to watch.

But he gets into his swing in E2 - gum I love 5! It's safe for me to go clothes shopping again!* - and he feels it too, the joy of being a new person and seeing the world afresh. Diving out of an airlock without a spacesuit is also an irresistably Fiveish thing to do. The Doc's always been up for slightly crazy-suicidal impulsive activities, but 5 does it with a particular flair. Saving the world with a cricket ball and a smile - that's my doc!

*(I've been through a massive 6th Doctor phase recently, which has proved to have an...interesting effect on my dress sense. It happens whatever Doc I'm watching, but this is only really a major problem with 6....)

Yes, he's wonderful - but name me an episode in which the Doctor isn't the best thing? (actually, the word you're looking for is Enlightenment, but that's not the point). Taking Adric aside and pointedly explaining things. His wonderfully mingled horror at the robotic Bigon, and his curiosity and admiration for its skill. The fact that, post-Castrovalva, he thinks keeling over is the best way to distract people. Most episodes I can reduce to a list of "things the Doctor does" - but here, it's practically the whole episode!

There was a real sense of him working it all out - I really like it when episodes develop a physicality like this. Other examples would be the whole trial-and-error of Green Death, the whole sequence with the computer and the scene with the wheelchair in Two Doctors, escaping from the handcuffs in Caves and diving between the cars in Gridlocked. I loved the various uses the lack of oxygen were put to, all the sneaking about with Monopticons. It felt very earthy, very real - no metaphysical lever pulling and technobabble, just practical working things out.

There is just such a lot of stuff going on - never for a moment did I feel companions were being sidelined, they all had moments to shine. In this respect it reminded me of Mawdryn Undead - which juggles the Doc, plus four companions, plus two villains so adeptly, I hadn't noticed there were so many of them until this moment. Similarly, if never felt padded - even though the Recreationals should have been easy to pigeonhole as such. A good test to see if a DW story has outlived its welcome is to try watching it sans episode 3 and see if it impedes your viewing. If you can't remember what you've missed, it's probably going on too long. I don't think you could have done this with Four to Doomsday.

(for the record, it was literally 24 hours before I had to go off to university, I was still half way through rewatching Terror of the Vervoids, I wanted to get to Ultimate Foe and I couldn't take the videos with me. So I fast forwarded through E3, and didn't really notice the loss - a shame, because I'd always thought it was a rather good episode, but if you can cut a solid 25 minutes so easily something must be lacking.)
Tegan is irritating here - I hated her on first sight in Logopolis, but I do that for most companions, and after a smattering of seasons 20 and 21, grew to like her very much indeed. Now I remember why that initial impression was so strong. But I do think her behavior here is interesting - particularly her horrorstruck dash from the room at the Recreational, which is curious in terms of where it's all heading with Resurrection, also prefigured in the Awakening.

On the strength of this episode, I now understand a little better the Five/Tegan shippers. These people make me go "what?!" at the best of times, but it was finding a Paul Cornell quote which revealed it was his opinion that the Doc deliberately left her in Time Flight on account of "being embarassed by his feelings for her". WHAT?!* Not that a published Who-writers thoughts count for more than a casual fan's...but they do. It certainly made me want to have another look at Goth Opera (though rereading my review, I note that things of this nature wound me up at the time) I can at least see where these people are getting their evidence from now. Even though I mostly disagree - I've always thought of 5's companion relationships as bizzarely paternal. Now, Turlough's feelings for Tegan is another matter entirely...

*For the record, surely this is Tenth Doctor style "nasty things happen to my companions! I'm going to travel alone!", except he can't dump Nyssa as she has nowhere else.

Nyssa is, well, Nyssalike. I have a large soft spot for Nyssa, but she's still a waste of space. They never made enough of her character's individuality as I perceived it.

And I still can't see why Adric is unpopular. The season 19 companions always seem to be locked in a bad acting competition, in which Adric is by no means the worst. Nyssa and Tegan muff their lines a lot worse than he does. Their first scene alone in the TARDIS is character perfect - Nyssa passively assumes everything is fine, Tegan wants to go and do something about it. And Adric, dear thing, demonstrating the dogged loyalty and teenage irritability which makes me love him, and which annoys everyone else. You get a real sense that he feels he's the companion - Nyssa and Tegan are just baggage the Doctor can't dump - and thus he's in charge in the Doctor's absence. To an extent he's right - Tegan intends to pass through, and Nyssa's has nowhere else to go. People dislike him for his whinyness, but for me it makes him more human - going from the centre of attention to having to fight for it is hard for any kid, especially a smart one who sees himself as better than the competition. He's knows he's the brainest of the three, he sees himself as more mature than Nyssa and more male than Tegan, so why does he have to stay behind? "Pass the sodium chloride please", he points out, just to prove he's smarter. The temper tantrums are endearingly fallible - imagine if he was a blue-eyed tyke, all smiles and laughter. How irritating would that be! And Adric simply adores the Doctor. Earthshock really was always inevitable, in someone that desperate to prove himself.

That's the thing about Adric, his flaws outweigh his positive qualities, but I find him to be the most convincing of companions. No, it's not an attractive thing that he rattles on to Monarch when even Nyssa can tell it's the wrong move; but it's motivated by admiration for the Doctor (why shouldn't he boast on his behalf?), and being very impressed by the Urbankan's technology, and chuffed that someone's paying him some attention for once. And plus, isn't that what the Doctor would do - approach the alien race, assume they're friendly, try and help. It's not attractive that he is rude to Tegan and assumes authority over her, then runs and tell tales to the Doctor as soon as she disobeys, but it does stem from something which is beautiful - his trust, his loyalty. And yes, bound in with the arrogance of youth. When the Doc decides to dive out the airlock, he disables Persuasion by yanking out his neurons or something - moments later, Adric follows it exactly with Enlightenment.

It's also one of those unusual Doctor Who episodes which are actually science fiction, instead of adventure-romp-in-space or advertisement for Amnesty International/the Green party. I'm not going to give away the twist, mainly because I purposely didn't go looking for information before watching it and enjoyed it more for knowing nothing about it (incidentally, the missing unit from the titular "4" is days.)

It certainly isn't perfect, but there are so many good things that the bad things don't matter. There's the odd worryingly colonial overtone if you have a look at it too deeply, but I'd rather not. Particularly, the villains are a mixed bag. Monarch's plan is totally dodgy - I like his ultimate aim, but what is his intent regarding the Doctor and co.? He could have easily prevented them finding anything, alternately he could have sat them down and explained. He may be a god, but he's a very indecisive one. By episode 2 I'm thinking "JUST KILL THEM!"; and even if he doesn't want to do that, why not chain the Doc to the wall - its plain he's going to cause trouble.

Actually, he can't do any of these things, otherwise there will be no story. It's a perennial problem that Who villains have, that they actually can't kill the regulars (sans Logopolis). He only works successfully if you recall that he is totally nuts on every level, and possibly the craziest Doctor Who villain of all time. That excuses a few logical lapses. And now I'm wondering whether Battles in Time have him down as a "monster" or "robot"...

Here, it's far more obvious than normal, and it does kill tension fairly quickly by later episodes. Enlightenment has nothing to recommend her except a cool sounding name. Persuasion creeps me out - he gets to shout "kill him!" like he actually means it - and the green suit look is really quite natty. In fact, the script is just jam packed full with corking lines.

"You may keep the pencil..."

Warmonger

"I'm not sure what I'd do with an army..."

I've just finished Warmonger. It’s an interesting idea, but I don’t buy Peri as a guerilla leader. Peri is the archetypal DW companion. She’s very nice, but not too smart, and very good at being kidnapped and screaming a lot. Even out of the ankle-twisters, she’s one of the more useless ones. Now there are some companions which this would be an even weirder development for - Jo Grant is one, so is K-9.
Peri gives the impression she can take care of herself, but she's not this gung ho. Although I did amuse myself by thinking of her in short-cut commando gear, as the production company would inevitably put her into. Think of it in canonical terms - this is still pre-Caves, remember, in which she's back in "being rescued" mode. She shows some military kno-how in Mindwarp, but only because her cohorts are so useless; and she still thinks heels are the best footwear for alien planets. I think it would have been interesting for Nyssa - I could buy her as a great military tactician and capable young woman, despite her youth and innocence (Ace could have too, but she's a bit obvious - I wouldn't be surprised if there was something of this sort in a NA I haven't got around to; Leela too could have had a good go, but then 4 and 7 would have made less interesting Supremos - see below) At least the book stays true to Peri's most endearing characteristic, both of them - she still gets dribbled on by everyone in the galaxy :/

But pre-Caves is also the redeeming feature from the Doctor's point of view, because it makes sense in the character shift I've noticed between it and Planet of Fire. That episode has him on the verge of a moral breakdown -in Caves, he's scarily efficient. Peri comments that he's changed during Warmonger - its a change I buy in light of those two episodes. It fills that canonical gap quite nicely. And plus, giving the Doctor an army makes a mockery of his claim to Davros that he wouldn't know what to do with one; nicely in keeping with Tegan saying she couldn't kill anyone, then trying to knife the Master two episodes later, or the Master claiming the Doc's moral scruples would prevent him from using the TCE before he uses it on Kamelion. Other than that idea, his character isn't particularly well caught, but it is nice that some authors will let 5 command an army instead of assuming he's too wet. Yes, it's far easier to imagine pretty much any other Doctor as a military genius, but that doesn't mean this is an impossible scenario. This is a brilliant explanation of how the guy responsible for all those well meant season 21 botch ups can become the rather more efficient and pragmatic Sixth (not to mention egotistical). Apparently, this was meant to be 6 and Peri. If it had been, I would have liked it far less - because Peri's character would still have annoyed me, and a belligerent 6 would have been tediously conventional instead of an interesting attempt.

I think it's adorable that heading an army for a whole year is the Doctor's idea of "I'm not going to get involved". However, I still think its irresponsible for him to abandon the army like that at the end - he has the chance to unite the races, and keep them out of trouble - at least for a bit. Instead, commanderless, they'll fall to fighting each other immediately, and go back to conquering the universe. A bit like 6 turning down the presidency at the end of Trial - there's liking your freedom, and then there's just being daft. After the full extent of Gallifreyan corruption has been revealed and with the system on the verge of civil war and collapse, why not make good on his statement that to fight evil "all he had to do was stay here". Some strong leadership at that point could turn the planet around, and influence it for good. He's got no reason not to.

Onto the continuity. I liked the Brain of Morbius stuff, mostly because I didn't like the episode. Or rather, I didn't think it was great as most people seem to. A lot of running about, and the Sisterhood of Karn (particularly Ohica) are just too silly for words. I liked this look at an older Karn, where the dynamic was different, and the Sisterhood were more convincing on paper. I liked them bridging the gap and explaining just how Solon ended up with a brain in his basement. The early scenes between the Doctor and the "General" are priceless, as is the moment when he realises who he is - now I think about it, it's basically a retread of the end of Utopia, which is why I like it, but it's still priceless. I've never met Ogrons or Draconians on TV, but I didn't buy the Cybermen getting involved. It seemed consistant for the Sontarans, but the Cybermen have their own agenda - what happened to those human idiots who thought they could be reasoned with in Tomb of the Cybermen? Oh. Yes. I don't think the Doctor would countenance it, not for a threat as small as Morbius. It'd have to be something like Sutekh or bigger. I'm glad he avoided letting the Daleks join in, that would have been even sillier. I liked seeing a young Borusa. And the image of the Doc deliberately undermining his own victory by making sure Morbius makes it out alive is brilliant, absolutely brilliant, not to mentioning hiding his name throughout for the sake of preserving time.

Original stuff? Hawken was a sweetie. That's pretty much it. It could have been a bit less nasty - just because you have the freedom to explore things not mentioned on screen, doesn't mean you necesarily should.

I picked up the book on the strength of two words ("fifth" and "peri"), and it was only when I was on the bus I thought "Warmonger". Terrible reputation. Not entirely deserved, it could have been so much worse. It makes for an enjoyable read, and I zipped through at an enjoyable pace. But it was nothing special. I think it's a particularly interesting book from a Doctor note - the fact he ends up in a position that puts him so out of character makes far more sense than the bizzare leap from moral quandry to uber-efficiency after Planet of Fire. But seriously, Peri? What was that?!

Multi-Master update!

Exciting news: the classic Fifth Doctor line "quick, back to the TARDIS!" has just made it into the script. Rumours that the Master will chuckle, smirk, grin and use the word "dear" inappropriately are still unsubstantiated.

Update on the Master project - we have art!

So, if anyone cares, and if anyone has faith that I'll ever finish it (I certainly don't), here's the first smash of art. I'm doing it my usual style - fairly realistic, a bit comic book-y, but not too stylised. Mainly I'm just obsessing about getting the details right.


Yes. I know I forgot the celery. I always forget to draw the celery, and I don't know why as its hardly an obvious omission. I'm happy with the colours though. Cute, isn't it?






On the other team will be these easily recognisable fellows:

You might recognise them as SimmMaster and DelgadoMaster. If you don't, then I'm in more trouble than I thought. The reason I've only posted two of the Masters is that the other two STILL look nothing like their TV counterparts. But I think these two are great.



Excited now, aren't you? Next installment - Nyssa and Tegan, and hopefully another Master.

Caves of Androzani

"I'm telling you the truth, I keep telling you the truth, why does no one believe me?!"


246 days. That's the amount of time I've been putting off Caves of Androzani. At first it made sense - I had other 5 episodes to watch. And then I didn't any more. And then I watched Stolen Earth, had a three day breakdown and realised however well meant an action it was to watch it, it was a bout of depression in a box at a time when that's the last thing I need.

Goes without saying that I take my fiction too seriously when a death of someone who never existed, not even a death - a departure of an actor for another one I esteem as highly, when I've always claimed actors don't matter, and its not even the end because I've still got five or six other episodes, countless books and audios anyway; that all that can worry me more than my A-level results. Although having something that really doesn't matter to worry about is something of a comfort - it means you spend less time worrying about something that does.

It goes without saying that I'm very, very traumatised - more or less than usual I'm not sure, but the recovery phone call took 74 minutes instead of the 45 that Stolen Earth occupied. I felt chatty instead of quiet, but apparently I didn't make much sense. I ambled about a bit in the way I always do after serious fictional shellshock. I tried to think of something to do, and quite frankly the only thing I came up with was watching it again - that's the quickest episode turnaround I've managed since Utopia.

Anyway, I'm back in one piece enough to write about it now, and they're right, you know. They're always right about the good ones. For the record, its better than Genesis of the Daleks too. That episode is a classic because of the introduction of Davros, for some fantastic scenes and a great story. But there are still problems which we ignore because the rest is so damn awesome. The padding. The whole Sarah-on-the-rocket subplot. The clam. Not so Caves - the plot is clockwork perfect - a little human story set against a big human background. The Doc is the catalyst for everything that happens, but he's never a part of it. It's a tragedy in slow motion, if you like - we know our heroes are slowly slipping off for the entire episode, and their struggle is occasionally interrupted by almost irrelevant short scenes about the background war, which gets more and more absurd and complex as it goes. It's all heading to a dead stop - but after setting off the chain of events, the Doctor plays no part in the surrounding mess. Brilliant! Two awesome stories at once, almost unconnected. It also holds the peculiar distinction of being the only episode ever where the doctorless bits have retained the same level of interest for me throughout. I always tend to switch off a little - they're important, of course, but once you've heard one meglomaniac tell an underling that this is the final stage in their master plan, you've heard them all. In the name of Moffat, what was the point of those Silurian scenes in Warriors of the Deep? These things are unconvincing unless actors are around to help them out with a little bluff.
Anyway. Thematically this makes sense too. Even after he stopped calling Adric "Jamie" in Castrovalva, working out who he is has been a major problem. Earthshock, Resurrection, Planet of Fire, Warriors of the Deep - he just can't make it work. Too much violence? Not enough? Mercy in the wrong places, or at the wrong time? Lots of lovely angst. Here, it's like giving up - he's come out of Planet of Fire a different fellow. Lots of people have been saying "more determined", but I'd suggest his priorities have changed. He doesn't bother helping the good guys or bad guys, as if he's tried so hard and failed so often he can't go through it again. Instead he focuses on rescuing Peri for the whole thing - one good action, without a single shade of grey. I'm actually tempted to say this is a few months after Planet of Fire - even though giving up his life for a total stranger is an irresistibly Doctorish thing to do, he seems to be a lot more determined and resolved in this one - as if time has passed in between. Makes space for the audios too. And of course, it's an Adric thing too. Yes, it's something any Doctor would do, but it takes on a special significance here - after Adric and Kamelion, he just can't lose another companion.
Perhaps because of his lack of involvement with everyone else, the Doc gets a lot a lot of action in this one. I quite like that. Most episodes when he gets imprisoned, the prison is just a plot impediment - he's out in two shakes and ready to move onto the next scenario. Take a look at episode 3's climactic excape. A whole five minutes - he breaks the thing on the wall, it clunks to the floor - but no one comes in - then he's got to break the cuffs open, and so on. We get the whole process in tense detail. Suddenly, it's James Bond - we've got close ups and cuts, and it feels like we're in the middle of a movie - not some static TV show with lots of standing about in corridors. One of those episodes which would make a fantastic movie, even without the DW tag.

I've heard a lot said about how much better 5 is here than anywhere else. It's the Deadly Assassin factor - the favourite Master episode of people who don't really like the Master that much. In that episode, he's barely the bearded chuckler we all love - and people who claim its his finest hour either hate the character basics, or mean it's the best episode which just happened to involve him. Five is different in this, and I'm not sure why - not script or performance. All his notable traits are there, but it feels more like its been written for another Doctor. Perhaps it's the determination of ignoring everything but Peri, the certainty it gives him in not having to worry about anything else. It certainly feels like he's decided who he is. But its still not exactly the Doctor I fell in love with, which probably explains why its so much more popular than any other episode...it certainly deserves the label of the best episode he's ever happened to be involved in, maybe even the best performance. But something is wrong and I can't quite place it.

You can almost feel him turning into 6 as it goes - the regeneration just crystallises the change. He turns up and investigates in a very 6like manner, and the comment that Jek is arrogant in assuming their intelligence is equal is also pure 6. Can't you see him in this just as easily? In fact, can't you see any Doctor?


But I do like it. In Planet of Fire, even though there isn't a visible sign like the Watcher, I feel he's ready to go. Now I love it when heroes die accidentally, and you can put the Spectrox down to a case of damn bad luck. But time really does run out for the Fifth Doctor here, and Androzani isn't going to let him leave alive. The Doctor makes an occupation of escaping death - here, it's always moments away. Ripped apart by androids? Shot by angry gun runners? Or beaten up by them? Or beaten up by Morgus' heavies? Shot by Chellak's guard? Or by the android? He really does stay on his toes, with the underlying irony that however many times he dodges immediate death, that's where its all heading anyway. The twin abilities to look like it really hurts and to pull off scared are really the best assets PD brought to the role, and he gets to use both aplenty here. Despite this, and despite the surrounding misery of the world, the episode is on the whole uplifting - the focus is on going out a hero, instead of dying by accident. Compare, for example, Logopolis which feels weary and tragic from the start. And I should know - I was expecting to have a miserable time of this, especially because death is the theme the whole way through - but despite the grim surroundings, the tone is thrilling, not depressing. You genuinely want to find out what happens next, leaving no time to dwell at all.


Onto everything else. Peri was awesome in this, and its not a word I apply to companions all that often (Donna excepted). Particularly her scene with Jek - "Do you think I am mad?" "Are you afraid". Man, companions who act?! She and the Doctor are just too cute, and their joint scenes with Sharak Jek are priceless. Kudos to the direction too - its quite a pretty stylistic ballet the characters have got going on there, with how they are placed in relation to each other et al. And I always approve of companionhugging.

I've forgotten the villains - they deserve mention. Or rather, the fact I've forgotten to mention them is a tribute to their performances. Weren't they good? Rather, give half of their lines to a lesser actor and its reduced to pantomime. I mean seriously, have you heard Sharak Jek's dialogue? Basically, its awful. But oh how good is the delivery that you barely notice. Morgus is also good, and again its a role created by the performance not the words. Though the words are good as well. Having the lift engineer shot, reducing a minutes silence to thirty seconds - classic cold villainy.

It was also very, very, very violent. And mean too. Have you ever noticed the all time greats are invariably ones you wouldn't show to children? The scene where Gun Runner 1 threatens his partner with poison, knife and drop simultaneously was particularly intense. And blood! How many times do you see that on our show - if you answered The Deadly Assassin, then you are correct. TV Movie too. Aside from that, you'd think we were made of straw inside. Not only violent, threatening. I'm sure I've noted before how hard it is to make an audience believe the characters are in danger. Even if you aren't looking at the casting news, companions will only die towards the end of series and then rarely, the Doctor won't die at all. Getting worried for such untouchables is surely a waste of time; situations where we feel afraid deserve special congratulations. I felt afraid. I also think that the closer you look at Jek's lines, the faster you'll want to move your children out of the room.

What else? Wonderful direction - actually, any direction passes as impressive for Doctor Who. Wonderful sets - it feels like a real world, and I love the exterior shots. The beautiful final image of Sevateem-android following Jek's final command as the mud crashes through - this is deep stuff.

It's every bit as good as you've been told it is, and more besides.

Warriors of the Deep - here we go again

As soon as I sat down to watch Another Irredeemably Terrible Episode of Doctor Who, had a nasty inkling what might happen. As it happened with King's Demons or Trial of a Timelord.

So lets get the first bit out of the way quickly - yes, the effects were darned dodgy even by my standards; yes, there was about as much running and rescuing as the Visitation; yes, it desperately needed to use the word "Russian" instead of "our human enemies" (though with the translation circuit functioning, arguably the "enemies" could turn out to be the Americans. That'd add another layer of ambiguity...but my point is, it was blatantly more about 1984 than 2084) - and there's only so much you can do with a base under siege: the plot basics are nothing you won't recognise.

But the sets were brilliant, the Myrka could have been worse (best monster in the episode - the Silurians and Sea Devils were the true disappointments here), the supporting cast were a lot of fun and as with all my faves, morally pitch black at times - "there should have been a better way" could be setting the tone for the entire season.

I just want to love this show - let me. It's so easy to criticise, but what's the point? It just means I've spent an hour and a half watching something terrible instead of something great? Always look on the overlit side of life - ignore what was irredeemably bad, let memory work on the things that were almost OK, and cling to the good stuff like a liferaft. How the hell do you approach the classic series without blind faith and optimism? I've still only seen one episode which was painfully bad in every way - that's Fear Her. Not even the Doctor was good in that.

It's all about character. Where else do you get the opportunity to see the Doc beat someone up, and apologise to them at the same time? Lecturing the, how shall we put this, Russian agent about putting the Silurian threat above petty human concerns, then chasing instantly off after Tegan. And most priceless of all, grimly suggesting Tegan politely ask the Myrka to go away while rigging up the light gun; or, a little mocking at the approach which has worked so spectacularly for the previous two seasons - I don't know what Frontios and Awakening are like, but there's a definite theme running in the other three. Caves isn't meant to be much of a picnic either.

Now I can't deny there is some dodgy characterisation in here too - the questionable action of setting the reactor on overload, for example; or the aforementioned fight sequence, which was fun, but not quite Five - but you can give me the last episode, surely? It's another one where everything goes to pot, where he can't talk anyone around to his point of view, and he can't start firing either.

Even the last ten minutes are priceless enough for me - the Doc letting the countdown tick while he looks for a non-lethal solution, getting the gas switched off as quickly as possible, attempting to revive the dead Silurians with oxygen while he defuses the missiles, and companions shooting them while he's out of the way.

Everybody dies! Funtimes! Dead sea devils, dead crew, and a little more dead idealism. It's a tragedy in slow motion - they run across the gas in the first few minutes, and from that moment its inevitable. We all know that it's the most sensible option - even the Doctor - which is what makes this for such an interesting episode. Everyone knows how it has to end, its just how long the Doc can keep thinking of alternatives.

And this is why our show is unfailingly better than Torchwood, who'd have sprung the gas as soon as they'd found it (while sleeping with half the extras), and produced a show half as complex and half as long. Probably would have saved more people in the long run too, but that's not the point. Not shooting always makes for better television.

Turlough and Tegan have a lot of good stuff too - this TARDIS team is just irresistible. It makes for a pretty good examination of Turlough's bravery, for example - the times he fights, or runs, attempts to be doctorly, or goes back to being his old squirmy self are great fun. They all spend a lot of the time rescuing each other, but while in the Visitation it just seems like a way to stretch the plot out to four episodes, here the situations are just too cute, and it ramps up the mad claustrophobia of the situation.

I just want to get ahold of the DVD, and take a digital scrape to it. Dim the lights, CG in a better monster, cut all the scenes when men in monster suits are talking to other men in monster suits. Because I've got a damn good imagination, these things rarely matter to me. I don't notice - if the actors have the decency to mime scared, then I'm scared. So to damn an episode (seemingly) on this alone has always seemed a bit meaningless to me. And I didn't even think the lighting was too bad. The bright white gave the station a definite sense of atmosphere. Not a creepy, dark and foggy atmosphere, for sure, which maybe did make it less scary, but it did feel like a real place. Crucially, it marks it out as different from Resurrection of the Daleks' dankfest prisonship. With all the chasing around that happens in that later episode, they might feel too similar if not visually so different. We'd already done industrial-base with Terminus and Earthshock too - you'd think that any civilisation desigining a military base wouldn't deliberately make it morale-destroyingly ugly. In addition, the misery of the crew is integral to both Terminus and Resurrection - and Earthshock's captain isn't that happy either. Liked the uniforms too.

Having taken a good look at internet criticisms, I hardly have the heart to go through and refute them one at a time - I still can't quite see what everyone's problem is. Everyone's so busy picking on the Myrka that they don't quite get around to the plot. It's a poor man's Resurrection of the Daleks, from the marked-for-death crew to the use of lethal gas. But I still enjoyed it. I'm also talking from the perspective of a new fan - I haven't seen the older Silurian eps, so the continuity messes passed me by, and the reappearance of a great monster didn't come as a disappointment.

And roll on season 21! It all starts here - I'm not sure whether as much thought went into series arcs as it does now, but there's definitely something to be found if you want to look. The first person we're introduced to here is Maddox, who is alright to be a part of firing the missiles, but doesn't want to actually do it. Even if someone else is responsible, it's still him who causes it. It's a wonderful little performance, and maybe deliberately meant to remind you of someone in particular? It certainly sets the tone. Look at the little links - here, the massacre on the base and (almost) destruction of Earth all comes because he spends an hour and a half trying not to gas the reptiles. But he's the first to break out the Movellan Virus in Resurrection, almost as soon as he works out what it is. The death toll is already horrific by then, but he wastes no time. Its the action of someone who's had a think back on the last time he was in this situation. The same goes for his failure to correct a previous mistake with Davros' death - it's almost certainly the catalyst for letting the Master fry in Planet of Fire. Just don't get me started on the Turlough-Adric connection.
It all depends on your priorities. Canon-bunnies will hide behind their Pertwees, SFX-gurus will point and laugh at the effects and a certain cabal of Tom Baker fans endlessly remind us that the difference between a good story and a bad story is merely how bright the lights are. I like the characters, episodes which have the gall to criticise its hero, and I like the heartbreakers. Tick tick tick. Bring on The Awakening!

Fenric is the Black Guardian!

In my recently published introductory post, I list this statement among more conventional wisdom about what does and doesn't make it into my version of canon.

Doctor Who must necessarily pretend every weekly monster is the worst ever, otherwise the tension dissipates. He can't stride in to the Slitheen and point out what we all know - that compared to the Daleks, they're wimps. This occasionally leads to horrible cliffhangers such as "it means the Master has finally defeated me!" from Time Flight, when confronted with a wall.

It also means the Doc ends up facing off Eternal Evil From The Dawn of Time quite a lot. I've never been into "lets make canon straight" - because you can't tie up all the loose ends in a program that big and long running, with so many different influences. But I do genuinely believe Fenric and the Black Guardian are the same character - they occupy the same role, and work in the same way. It wasn't meant to be like this, of course - just a coincidence. But lets look at the evidence...

• The Doctor explains that Fenric isn't his real name, it's just a name for him - he's really just a personification of all that is bad. Similarly, the Black Guardian is a personification of malice with a grudge against the Doctor. When he gives his potted history to Ace, his descriptions "evil since the dawn of time" and "two forces, only good and evil" could equally apply to both characters. In mythology, it is the wolf Fenric which will consume king of the gods Odin (who, with a bit of imagination, we could liken to the powers of good, or the White Guardian).
• They have history - they've fought each other before. For Fenric, he ends up trapped in a pot. For the Black Guardian, this is the Key to Time lark, but the White Guardian assures the Doctor after Enlightenment that he will be back. But he never is, not on screen - so lets argue that the Fenric backstory happened sometime after this, making Curse of Fenric the promised showdown?
• Both manipulate humans instead of challenging the Doctor directly (Turlough vs Fenric's wolves). You can also argue that both stories boil down to the actions and decisions of a tainted companion.
• Chess metaphors! Quite aside from the whole Black vs White Guardian thing, Enlightenment begins with Turlough and Tegan playing chess; the chess connection in Curse of Fenric is obvious.
• "I control the game, the Doctor's destiny!" - The Black Guardian. Compare to "We play the contest again", "It's like it's some kind of game and only you know the rules" and numerous other references of this type in Curse of Fenric

I'm not suggesting any of this is deliberate - it's just tempting to see them as the same person instead of allowing two very similar character concepts to coexist. It also provides a proper resolution for the Black Guardian story.

Now, Sutekh and the Beast is a different story. Not only do I believe they are the same character in essence, I also believe it to be deliberate. Lets look at the facts:

• Pyramids of Mars is a popular, memorable episode, and Sutekh a very iconic villain (also, incidentally, my favourite). This makes him a natural choice to bring back, much as the Cybermen, Master, Daleks and Davros were.
• In the middle of series 2, the show was a lot more wary about referencing its own history. We hadn't even had the word "Gallifrey" yet. If someone did want to return a classic, they'd be wary about diving straight for their video collection.
• "Your name is abhorred by all civilisations in the galaxy!" Or words to that effect from Mr Baker. He certainly gives the impression that Sutekh is the archetypal devil figure which, lookie do, so is the Beast.
• Both characters are imprisoned; both work through other operatives - the Robot Mummies are replaced by the Ood, and Toby (I suppose) can replace a Scarman. If you look for less obvious similarities, both involve a small human group trapped in an isolated area, and both are shitscary.
• They're both played by Gabriel Woolfe, and in both cases the monster can't move, it's just his voice that does the dirty work.

It's a good theory, right up until Gabriel Woolfe shows up, at which point it is a great theory. Like drafting in real-life-Doctor-daughter Georgia Moffat as in-story-Doctor's-Daughter, it's stunt casting too obvious to miss. Now apparently, the story was already in the can before he was cast; but hell, I think this theory's watertight!
While tidying up the loose ends, the Ood claim another name for the Beast is Abbadon - who you'll know turns up at the end of Torchwood series one, and spoils a rather complex, interesting and creepy episode by attempting to destroy Cardiff with the unholy powers of CGI. Even though there's more textual evidence here than anywhere else (it also says he too has been locked away), quite frankly neither Sutekh nor the Beast would ever behave so crassly as Abbadon does, nor be defeated by Captain Jack crying at it. Or whatever he does. What does he do again?
Of course, with Sutekh and the Beast both evil-destroying devil figures, and Fenric and the Black Guardian also being chaotic-evil-destroying figures, maybe there's an argument to be made that they're all the same thing? Ignoring the Guardian, Sutekh, the Beast, Fenric and Abbadon all end up sealed in rifts, black holes, curtained chambers, or whatever bricabrac the Doc had lying around at the time. But I think this is taking it too far...

King of Terror - alright by me

It took me all of five minutes, dutifully electing to start on the 8th Doctor books I had been lent, to decide to return downstairs and read King of Terror instead. Not hard to spot why - Tegan, Turlough and the Brigadier, an irresistible combination.

But then Paynter and Barrington turned up, and before I knew what I was doing, I'd fallen completely in love. This isn't something I do very often. For me, the minor characters are usually a distraction from what the regulars are doing, which is always my top priority in these things. Furthermore, liking extras in Doctor Who is a bit of a wasted experience - they're there soley to die. But both were wonderfully written (especially Paynter, I know someone just like that), as was their friendship and the casual way their professional life weaves into their private conversations. And I did spend a lot of time worrying about their chances of survival.

The Doc didn't have a lot to do, but I suppose that's in keeping with the realistic tone of the book. The author tries very hard to give us realistic reactions to getting hurt, seeing violence and being in a tense situation, which I somewhat approve of. Particularly in terms of placing, with it being very near the ultra-violent Resurrection of the Daleks (I'm led to believe Warriors of the Deep is no picnic either). The downside is, its then unrealistic for the Doctor to zoom in, play cricket with the Jax for the right to conquer Earth, or talk them out of it, or whatever. Giving them The Sontaran Stratagem treatment just wouldn't work; so instead, the Doctor lets UNIT and the CIA do all the hard work, which doesn't exactly gel with me. He couldn't be less involved if he tried. Not only is he only on the periphery of the alien invasion plot, he doesn't find time to rescue Tegan or Turlough either. He doesn't want to attack the aliens, but doesn't object to the Brig doing it too strenuously, and doesn't seem to have a plan to talk to them either. I know Five had a reputation for being a bit of a useless case, but this is taking it to extremes.

What was there was very good though. I picked on Goth Opera for exposing the core of the character too much. Here there were shades of everything, I felt it was all there, but nothing was made obvious.

I like how well it fitted into the TV canon too, especially in terms of character development. Haven't seen Frontios and Awakening, but we've got some shadows about Trion, and both Tegan and the Doctor have a nod towards their psychological state in a few episodes time - she, going through another unpleasant and violent experience, starting towards her breakdown in Resurrection, and he starting to become introspective about the right level of violence to use and whether his efforts are helping at all (and they don't in this book).

The companions were both well done. I've heard it said Turlough doesn't work well in the novels, and I can understand why - his character is entirely built on Mr Strickson's twitchy performance, and hardly on the lines he is given. In addition, he's a favourite companion, so I was extra concerned. But I knew things were alright from his first entrance - having gone to see his Trion solicitor, he returns with both a bloodied nose and a smile. Classic Turlough, and while he's not given much to do, what he is passes my seal of approval. Particularly some details about Brendon. I also like the fact he suffers from apparent asthma and migrane, which is actually an alien reaction to the climate. Never mentioned in the show, but it seems to fit. Poor chap has, how shall we put this, something of a hard time in the book - which, while I didn't enjoy, did seem strangely fitting. I feel more people should make Turlough cry - it just reinforces the fact he is shamelessly puny. Tegan is well caught also. The miniromance didn't annoy me as much as it should have.

And the Brig! The opening dialogue with the Doctor is just wonderfully done, although I'm amused by the various plot-kinks people have used over the years to keep him in the story. Quite frankly, I don't remember him ever coming out of anything badly. He's just too well loved by pretty much everyone for anyone to dare do him badly.

In many ways, it's the polar opposite of Goth Opera - the "better book" but one I liked less. Overall, it hung together well, but the little things really got on my nerves. Here, the plot - and particularly, the character involvement - leaves a lot to be desired, but the individual scenes are irresistable. Things like Paynter explaining the Doctor to himself, as he talks about the Charge of the Light Brigade; or a throwaway reference to an unseen adventure in which the Doctor, Himmler and Heydrich chasing the Master through Berlin on the Night of the Long Knives. I like all the references to all the other Doctors - The Brig and members of both UNIT and the CIA are naturally familiar with several different versions, leading to some wonderful moments. I love the Doctor defining why Tegan is so important to him (and, unlike in Goth Opera, he does it when she's out of the room).

The one thing that really wound me up was the minor-character description. Saying someone looks like a cross between Alesteir Crowley and Ringo Starr is fine if you recognise the reference (which I do, in this case), but not if you don't (which I normally didn't). It's just lazy and annoying. And I'm furious that some readers have spotted continuity crossovers with Cold Fusion, my favourite so far, that I have missed (turns out I did spot it, but it was at the very start so I'd forgotten). I'm also amused that Tegan remarks on the Doctor's ability to "talk himself out of confrontations with Cybermen", because as my memory of Earthshock goes, the Cyberleader was doing all the talking.

All in all, depending on why you read these things, it wouldn't be wasted time to check this out. Especially because its one of the few still on shelves.

Thumbs down for Goth Opera...

I'm not sure I liked Goth Opera. It gets almost universal praise on the web, and there was nothing exactly wrong with it but...it may have been written by nuWho darling Paul Cornell, and he may have made his reputation for character pieces, but this was where I felt it was lacking.
I felt someone was working off a ticksheet. All the little Australianisms Tegan comes out with. She's shouty and sulky; Romana is refined. Nyssa too - a scientist, who wants to help, but has a complex about Traken. I never saw them as people, but as a collection of quirks. When they spoke, I didn't get the thrill of hearing the actors in my mind, as I did with Cold Fusion or Sands of Time. After a page of "ooooh, complex characterisation!" from other reviewers, I feel somewhat mean likening it to subpar fanfic. The characters who I wasn't meant to recognise were all well drawn (I liked Jake and Madeline particularly, Lang also came through well).
The Doctor rubbed me the wrong way too - cricket, celery, Adricguilt. Tick tick tick. Lots of tea. I first got suspicious when Ruath explained her motivation for choosing incarnation number five was targeting him at his most vulnerable.
Oh it makes me mad - vulnerable indeed. It's as much a front, I tell you, as the larking about is to 4 or 10. Five's difficulty isn't that he's a softie - but that he looks like a softie, leading to a serious authority problem. And yet here you have his Greatest Hits - getting chained to tables, passing out, not shooting when it makes sense, feeling terrible and being ineffectual. They're all things he does at times, of course, but having them all together seems like joining the dots. These are the understandings of someone who has seen every one of his episodes and made a list. Actually, I have no difficulty believing he'd stake Yarven - because in the heat of the moment, when there are lives directly threatened, he always does (the green Dalek in Resurrection, the Cyberman in Earthshock, Omega in Arc of Infinity).
Quite frankly, he doesn't come out of the book well, and that's not fair. I don't like the suggestion, for example, that his decision to team up with Ruath is soley to avoid a long and miserable death. I mean, I would - but there's something a bit strange about him going on that alone. And anyway, if Ruath wants to find a version of the Doc who'll team up with the vamps, why pick on the one (another stereotype coming...) who's always behaved whiter-than-white?

Not sure I like the way he and Tegan are portrayed either. I've always thought the best Doctor-companion relationships are made when they are both a little bit in love with each other - 3 and Jo, 4 and Sarah, 9 and Rose. One of the things that failed with Martha was a total lack of chemistry - she thinks she's in love (she isn't...), and he never sees her as anything more than his responsibility. And then we got Donna who pointed out she didn't fancy 10 so often and vehemently it started to sound like denial by the end. Different sort of love - more sisterly-brotherly, but still love and no less cute. Suddenly, things got fun in the TARDIS again.
I don't think it hurts to see 5 and tegan like that, even though the evidence is so subtle it's invisible. It's only occasionally they let their guard down on the matter - the end of Mawdryn Undead, start of Planet of Fire, bits of King's Demons et al. This was far too cute by half - on TV, they squabble, but aw we know they don't mean it. The effect doesn't quite work in prose, when the author holds your hand and tells you they don't mean it.

Like the Adricguilt, I don't like having it made explicit. I tend to see it in everything he does, and
rightly so. But having him point it out - "I'm not going to lose another companion in this incarnation!" - feels wrong. The Doc's attitude towards bad things has always been private wallowing, never public. Ticking boxes.

When the situation gets extreme, I never felt it was the natural way the story was heading - the author just wanted to prod them to see if they'd bleed. Particularly when he gives Tegan the Curse of Fenric treatment, which was one of the points in the book where I just stopped believing entirely.
I'm not sure I liked the tone taken towards Christianity here either. I'm not religious meself, but people who are overly critical always verge on the insulting.

There were, of course, things I liked. I liked the Prydonian hijinks Ruath and the Doctor allude to - particularly introducing cats to the Gallifreyan ecosystem. I liked Mr Cornell remembering to point out that, if the vampires cause an artificial nighttime for a few minutes over England, in Australia they will experience it as a short artificial dawn and consiquently, while the northen hemesphere are in terror of a coming apocalypse, in the South people aren't that concerned. One of the few well observed things about the Doctor is letting himself go along with Yarven's plans, and using the Ring of Rassilon at the last moment. He did, on occasion, go along with things to a suicidal extent in the hope of getting to the bottom of matters (Black orchid and Arc of Infinity are two), and it was a smart plan to get them to a planet with a short cycle, to give them exactly enough time to repent if they wished. The instant vampire converter is also interestingly shown, those with strong faith exploding instead (although, with the mega-faithbomb 7 throws at the Haemovores, one wonders why the Doc didn't blow too?) And I always like people to pick up on the Tegan-Nyssa relationship, which I've always thought was rather special.

Anyway, it's not like it was a bad book - it just annoyed me more than it made me happy. A crying shame, because Mr Cornell is responsible for my favourite Who-related piece of fiction ever - a short story from a CMS-Invision magazine, Logopolis issue, about the Watcher. It's one of the most moving and beautiful things I've ever read and catches the Fifth Doctor's mindset and era perfectly.

I've enjoyed his TV adventures, and thought Human Nature was the best thing since sliced Moffat when I first read it. But maybe I'll stay away from his books for a bit - if you think I'm sulking about this one, then you're lucky that this blog wasn't in operation when I finished his Love and War, which just made me madly furious. Again, mostly for his treatment of the Doctor - like Five in Goth Opera, Seven did not come out of the book looking very good and now I think of it, also appeared more as a sum of his cliches than a rounded piece of fit-in characterisation.
In the introduction, the Missing Adventures mission statement is spelt out as fitting seamlessly into the TV canon. Imitation has been done rather too well, I feel - in short, it was all too obvious. What I recognised about the characters seemed overfamiliar; what he had added seemed wrong. And if you screw up the characters, then you've already lost me in Doctor Who.
Pity, too. The more of these books I don't enjoys, the worse I feel about shelling out for copies. I've been wanting to read Just War for ages, and while the more continuity-heavy books I read, the more I feel I may be incurably allergic to the New Adventures, Lance Parkin is still in my good books since Cold Fusion and Dying Days. In particular, Just War is set in my own home island of Guernsey - Doctor Who in Guernsey! I've been watching the price on Amazon for ages. Episodes like this make taking a chance on a £20 novel very painful indeed.
To make up for that, I settle down to watch Music of the Spheres which I have been saving. What was that? Oh, the sound of the fourth wall shattering. Oh well...

Scary Moments: Planet of Fire

Welcome to the first of a series of "scary moment" posts, celebrating the best in characters, creatures and moments which had me creeped. I'll blog them as they occur to me and in no particular order.

This might strike you as an unconventional place to start - but hell, I've just been watching it, and it still strikes the same chilling chord as the first time I watched it.

At its core Planet of Fire is just a generic runaround, with companions losing and finding each other, local intrigue and liberal doses of "come on, back to the TARDIS!". Anyone who treats it as an episode for its plot will be disappointed. It's far more precious as a character study, and that's when it starts getting scary.

I've never had much time for people who dismiss 5 as bland - but I do like the label of innocence. Maybe it's as much as a front as the larking about is to 2 or 4, to disguse the years, the intelligence and ability to get mean when absolutely necessary. Whatever the reason, he really genuinely does try to save everyone, with the means as honest as the ends, and ignoring the odd burst of frustration, the occasional piece of killer sarcasm, smiling politely no matter how grim the situation gets.

And its here the episode gets scary. The nice, naive one - who blithely lets Kamelion onto the TARDIS because he's harmless, who ignores the numerous bursts of cowardice and disloyalty from Turlough, who insists on rescuing the Master at every oppertunity - suddenly loses his patience. It's probably the contrast which makes it so hard to watch. Here, he finally brings Turlough to task about his past - something he has obviously never done - and even threatens to dump him on Sarn for withholding information. His attempted redemption of Kamelion turns out to be a mistake - in this quarter he fails so entirely that we get companion suicide. Sure, he's a robot - but the circumstances render it distressing. The Master of King's Demons claims the Doctor's "moral scruples" would prevent him ever using the Tissue Compression Eliminator. Time runs out for him too with another piece of unprecedented direct murder (and possibly, maybe, for one brief moment before the line was obscured, fratricide). No wonder he looks rough when he reenters the TARDIS.

But its the dialogue to Kamelion in the Fire Hall that really chills the episode. "Servile", "slave", "silver puppet dancing on a string" - this is the Doctor as you've never seen him before. Of course, he's only trying to break the Master's control. But wheras Peri approaches him by coaxing and pleading, the Doc is vicious above the call of duty. You'll note that the Master also spends the episode refering to Kamelion as "slave". Lets not forget who we're dealing with either - even if his persona was usually authoritative it wouldn't seem so bad, but his tenure was characterised by argumentative and uncontrolled companions.

This is, of course, the Fifth Doctor's penultimate episode - but even though he's not expecting a regeneration, it does feel like the end of something. Watching one of the most fundimentally good Doctors finally giving up is a chilling experience, and equally as scary as many of the series "monster moments".

Omega

There are lots of things I could say about audio play Omega. One of them is "hmmm". Another is "er...". And also that there are spoilers, big spoilers below.

The kindest I can be is say it tried to do something very good, not very well.

Its working on a smart premise - that Omega did somehow survive with the Doctor's body, and bits of his mind into the bargain. Along the way, its trying to say something about the nature of fact, fiction, storytelling and history, how they intersect and how we perceive them. Or something. Which is a smart thing for a time travel show to work with, and they do have some interesting things to say, but I never felt engaged. An underlying theme should be subtle, not thwacking you over the head.

I've always liked the idea of Omega. He's a raving loonie in Three Doctors who commands no sympathy; in Arc of Infinity, he comes over better. This should have redressed the balance. It didn't. The performance was good, but I still feel this is a character that deserves another chance.

Part of this was the very bizzare twist that revealed the Doctor had not been in the house for the previous three episodes. Once I had it worked out, the story got rattling a bit more, and I daresay the rest would be more interesting in retrospect. Omega's brain-breakdown was one of the most compelling parts - confronting the voices, flashbacking to yet another version of stories we'd already told, all with his voice flickering between the two actors.

I spent quite a lot of time feeling I'd missed episode 1 - things like the absence of a companion, and wondering how much of this Omega-Rassilon backstory I'd missed. The former makes sense now - as for the latter, I remain confused. The only way to approach something as big as Doctor Who is chronologically. Not his chronology but ours - in the order things were published. Picking as I am, I can never be sure exactly how much continuity I'm missing.

I like the Doctor's chat with Omega, when he compares himself to him. That was an interesting idea. I was also amused when Sentia began frothing about Omega's lovely blonde hair and vulnerable expression.

Maybe my problem was the Fifth Doc isn't terribly well characterised. Its a funny thing to say, because I've always thought difference between doctors was mainly down to performance. I stand corrected, because his dialogue would at times have sat a lot better with Paul McGann's 8th Doc - it's effervescent, wacky and loveable.

So 6/10 from me, for being...a strangely hollow, underwhelming experience, that has already washed so entirely away I find reviewing it hard.

A new-old fan's list of resolutions - redux

"Peer pressure is a killer. And hence, I produce the list of eight resolutions that I need to write down so I don't forget them while associating with my fellow fans. "
I wrote this list three months ago for http://www.pagefillers.com/dwrg/, the best Whoreivew site on the web. I feel its time for a small edit - so lets go through and see if my resolutions still stand.
1. I will never stop loving Adric.
When I made the leap back, fate sent a copy of Keeper of Traken into my hands. The first thing that struck me about this pre-Rose world was his character. A companion who isn't a 20-something Earth girl - an alien, a chap and someone who can hold their own in the sci-fi world. I thought his relationship with the Doctor was really watchable. With a show based around a hero with the infectious enthusiasm of a ten year old, the idea of pairing him with a genius child was very appealing. I even liked his costume!
As soon as I got onto the web, I discovered I was in a minority of one.
I'm not sure where the hate comes from. Like liking one Baker, or disliking the other, this just seems to be one of those things you do. He's bratty and annoying - but how many 14-year-old kids do you know? Or people who are really clever, and know it? I'm also not sure where anyone got the idea his acting is worse than anyone else's, especially when paired with Tegan (who would improve somewhere after Time Flight) and Nyssa (who, to my knowledge, doesn't have the faintest idea what acting is or what possible use it could have). But a dodgy performance never prevented me from loving Nyssa, or coming to love Tegan, and it sure as hell won't put me off Adric.
Is it just a generation of bitter kids who've grown up and realised with the cynicism of middle age that he was meant to persuade them to study hard at school? In any case, kudos to the writers who granted him one of the most brilliant companion exits ever. It's hard to deny Earthshock is a good episode and even his militant haters couldn't ignore the impact of its ending. (I speak from experience here - somewhere a few episodes into Logopolis, me and Miss Jovanka fell out. From that point, she annoyed me no end - I cheered when she was temporarily left behind at Heathrow. I was quite looking forward to her real departure - but when it came, it was so good I rethought her whole character, fell in love and watched her remaining episodes in a totally new light.)
On this matter I am still inflexible. Adric is a worthy companion, his relationship with both his doctors is priceless, and it really is peer pressure that prevents more people from giving him a chance.
2. I will never stop loving Rose.
I never had an opinion one way or the other on Rose. Adorable, certainly, and also my benchmark for what a companion should look like. Now I've watched a bit wider, she also seems to be the Doctor's benchmark too - he shows a marked preference for young Earthgirls lacking in knowledge but make up for it with a sort of native intelligence (Jo, Ace and Rose to name three)
Wheras enquiring after Adric brought me a barrage of baseless hate, meeting the Rose fans had quite the opposite effect. Somehow, her character is inextricably tangled with the were-they-weren't-they of the first series. The people making videos to Coldplay tunes, and overlaying romantic lyrics on colour-tinted wallpapers. The other people, carrying the "you're a beautiful woman, probably" quote as a banner of distinction.
For the record: I don't have an objection to the Doctor being in love; I think it's highly unlikely someone as caring as he could spend that long alone and not be. I think there are several people in the Doctor's history you can point to and argue for perfectly eloquently (Jo and Rose being two of them). But please, it's done subtle in the show, so leave it subtle in the fanon...
But I digress. Dealing with these people was like dealing with the religious. There are hundreds of quietly practicing Rose fans out there, happily loving her and whatever relationship she may or may not have shared with our favourite Timelord. And then there are the extremists, the people who come to your door and give you leaflets, and start wars about it.
It's not the idea of it, but the way it was done - not by the show, but by that slice of fandom. The sheer cheesiness of the fanfiction. The use of Coldplay; never forgiveable. The implication that she was the love of his life. A love, yes, but life does go on. It might be hard, but he will get over it eventually. After all, it's not like she's dead; separated from him, but with everybody she loves (see: #1 Adric)
For me, the Ninth Doctor was all about the Time War. He ended it, resulting in the destruction of his planet, his race and the Daleks - and after that, his every act was one of repentance. From trying to help the Gelth and Nestine Consciousness whom he robbed of a home, to refusing to make the same decision a second time in Parting of the Ways. He's even thinking like a Gallifreyan when he arrives on Earth, with his callous comment about Mickey's death being insignificant compared to the bigger picture, while the concept of destroying the planet to save the universe is the ultimate Sensible Time Lord Decision. Rose is everything the Time Lords weren't. They are old and wise, she's nineteen and filled with life. She cares about a single Dalek, despite the threat it poses; the High Council were prepared to execute the Doctor for the potential threat he posed in Arc of Infinity, or remove San Fransisco from history to deal with a few vampires in Vampire Science. And he's on his own. Under the circumstances, we can allow him to lose at least one of his hearts.
Watching Sarah Jane's relationship with the Fourth Doctor has restored my faith (very similar to the Doctor and Rose in series 2; larking around the universe in a pretty cute way, and occasionally rescuing it from peril), while selective internet browsing has cut down on the amount of infuriating people I have to put up with. Let me revel in how nice Rose really was.
No, I haven't stopped liking her. Loving her, maybe. I still think she's brilliant in context - i.e. Series 1 and 2. Her Series 4 return was bizzarely unecessary, because her newfound sense of strength and knowledge took away one of her character basics. Wielding a gun and explaining the plot to Donna made her seem less of the no-hope Earthgirl we'd got to love. And no companion should be forced to share the screen with Donna Noble, really. Its just not fair. In the wake of Rose getting, erm, her own Doctor, I have completely ignored the internet response. 
3. I will never compare the old and new series.
I've got a better perspective on this than most here, starting in 2005 and working backwards. Chrisopher Eccleston is my nostalga Doctor, and he's only two years gone. There's really nothing to choose between them. It's all one show. It's all one character. Books count too. And audios. And comics. Though not the bad ones. That's the comfort of the canonicity debate: if a piece of non-TV fiction rubs you the wrong way, then you have an excuse to forget it entirely.
Never have, never will. I mean, yes I compare - Black Orchid and Wasp and the Unicorn? Sontaran Stratagem as an update of Resurrection of the Daleks. But I'm still very against anyone who uncatagorically loves one and hates the other, because I still believe both can be appreciated more in light of what has come before/ is coming. What a waste to still be stuck in 1973, and miss seeing Doctor Who in shiny CGI with exciting direction and a modern approach to storytelling. And what a waste to be so addicted to the look of the new series to ignore the story potential in the old. Really, I still can't say strongly enough, that people who entirely disregard either new or old series are truly missing out on half the show. Isn't Genesis of the Daleks all the more fun for knowing about the Time War? And wasn't Sarah Jane and Davros wonderful in Journey's End?
4. I will never admit to having a favourite Doctor.
I don't have a favourite Hamlet. I don't even have a favourite James Bond. I love them all in different ways, because they all show up different aspects of the same character. This is slightly hypocritical; my random approach to the series means I still haven't seen 1, 2, 6 and 7 (properly), but it's highly unlikely given the before examples that I will find any serious problems.
I have now delved into every doctor save no.1 (if appearing on a screen for Three Doctors doesn't count), and having a solid favourite seems as unlikely as ever. I feel that in the future I will be able to do some serious clumping - in the wake of Curse of Fenric, I feel I might love the 7th Doctor more, even though I don't love any others any less. Anyway, it's hard to pick on performance alone - otherwise Colin Baker would be at the top of a few more lists. Yes, I'm halfway through Trial of a Timelord. Yes he's bloody brilliant, even if the casing isn't. You're not just choosing a Doctor, you're choosing an era. Companions, episodes, writing, production values, interesting storylines, childhood memories. A problem I'm beginning to have with the 3rd Doctor is I'm just not loving his adventures. He's awesome, and so's UNIT. But Inferno is still the only episiode I've loved, which is why I'm unfailingly more excited about watching Peter Davison instead. Its not the Doctor. Its the whole era thang.
5. I will never stop loving Resurrection of the Daleks
After Logopolis, I continued as chronologically as the BBC DVD releases would let me, and the first one which really hit me on an emotional level was this. Peter Davison instantly became one of my top ten favourite Doctors (irony intentional), Tegan really did become one of my favourite companions. Turlough excited my curiosity enough to order the entire Black Guardian trilogy off Amazon. I loved the punishing level of unecessary violence (it's still got the highest death toll of any story I've counted: 57), thought the "minor characters we want you to sympathise with" were actually sympathetic, and was, for the first time ever, properly scared by the Daleks. New series ones don't quite cut it in the same way. And all this in a story where the Doc spends two episodes tied to a table.
Since then, it has paled. I never understood the plot, it just gets more unnecessarily tangled. Cloning is done better in Android Invasion. Everything is done better in Genesis of the Daleks. Mind control is just overdone.
Maybe I've been watching better episodes - Mawdryn Undead, or maybe Enlightenment, is now my favourite oldie - or maybe the hate it gets online has got to me. My affection for it remains the same, even if my respect has dipped. There's nothing as horrible as falling out of love and, even though I feel colder from afar, even though if I rewatched it would be as exciting as it did the first time.
But pity my friend. Her first favourite of the old series was Time Flight. Imagine her disappointment when she discovered it was against the club rules!
In the week between Stolen Earth and Journey's End, I watched this again. I can now confirm it is a totally worthy episode, quite brilliant actually. As predicted, I did enjoy it as much on a rewatch as originally, and won't forget it again, even for a moment.
6. I will watch Caves of Androzani
First it was after I've finished the other DVDs. Then the other videos. Then once I order Planet of Fire. Then after all the other episodes. Then after Series Four. I'm not putting it off, honest.
This is my first proper regeneration from a Doctor I really care about and have followed for a long time. I claimed above that I love them all equally, and that's true, but the Fifth Doctor has, so far and from sheer chance, been the only one I've done properly. I've seen over half the episodes, and most of them in the right order. I've got to like all his companions. It's going to be the End, and no matter how many novels and audios I stockpile, that'll be it. It's like Mr Tennant announcing he's going to leave, only worse because it's already happened.
The irony is, excepting Mr Tennant when it comes, he's one of the few Doctors I'm ever going to go through this for. Somebody who knows their stuff better than me should really make a guide for confused new-fans making the leap backwards, because in retrospect I got it wrong. I watched as large a spread of Doctor Who as I could get my hands on, and fate presented me with an insanely high number of regeneration stories. Planet of the Spiders was my first Pertwee. Logopolis was my second Baker. I got to know the Seventh Doctor minutes, nay, seconds before he walks out of the TARDIS and into the TV-movie. At the time, I wasn't particularly upset because I didn't have the background - and once I do, I'll have already gone through it, so I shouldn't be too distressed second time around. I only caught the first series from Dalek, so even Parting of the Ways wasn't that big a deal. I'm anticipating War Games and Survival to be kickers when I get there however...
It's a small consolation that Caves is Everybody's Second Favourite Episode After Genesis of the Daleks. It's another consolation that even the Davison-haters admit its brilliant. It'd help if everyone was less negative about Colin Baker though...

Well I decided I was being ridiculous about this in the run up to Stolen Earth, so I started laying tracks and making time. And then came that cliffhanger - the fake 10 regeneration - which completely spoilt my good intentions, and proved that there really is something to be worried about. Folks, I may never see this episode. After Stolen Earth I was miserable for days. I got ill. I felt sick, couldn't sleep and had a cold, and one of my friends lost her voice. And then after Journey's End, I didn't exactly feel like it; then I was on holiday; now I'm watching Trial of a Timelord. I was honestly gonna do it, but Stolen Earth gave me such a shock it proves I'll be inconsolably glum. And its not like DT's even leaving for good (which I kinda worked out as soon as the suprise wore off). Anyway, I don't want to be stuck with Warriors of the Deep as my last ever episode, right? At least this way I'm saving up something decent...?
7. I will never again read a novel about a Doctor I haven't seen first.Human Nature was the first pdf I plucked off the BBC website. Brilliant, absolutely brilliant, just like its episode. I fell in love with Benny, like everyone else in the known universe (even if it took me a few chapters to establish she was female).
It's gorgeously written, an excellent novel in its own right. Afterwards, seeing the Seventh Doctor on screen (yes, in Dimensions in Time, but it's really the same thing) was a horrible shock. His voice was plain wrong; in my mind, it was something mossy, like Ian Holm's. I'll get over this in time, I suppose, but it's a rule I'm sticking to. I recently gave up on The Eight Doctors halfway through, because I had really enjoyed appearances by the Fifth and Third Doctors, and missed the point of the rest.
Consequently, along with Day of the Daleks, Terror of the Autons, Four to Doomsday and (still) Planet of Fire, ANYTHING with Mr McCoy and Ace is on my list of must-buys. Chiefly so I can read Love and War; it's set in my home town, during the only interesting historical event which has ever affected us... I've been dying to read it, but can't in the name of goodness. Half the joy of both Dying Days and Sands of Time was enjoying how well its respective Doctors had been captured on the page.
What a mess. Well, I've stuck to this and I'm glad. Cold Fusion - 7 meets 5, hilarity ensues - is now my favourite book, by virtue of having waited. Amusingly, I am still sans Day of the Daleks, Terror of the Autons and Four to Doomsday. And it turns out the book I was after was Just War not Love and War, which pissed me off no end. The novel I was actually after is going for £34 second hand on Amazon, which makes me even more angry because I refuse to pay it. Stalemate.
8. I love 6's coat and I'm proud.
Still ain't seen an episode of his, but I think its fantastic. Wait, tell a lie - he's in Dimensions in Time. Telling Ace her new jacket clashes.
I still love the coat. But it does him few favours having seen it on screen. Plus, I'm currently painting the Black Tree Doctor Who minatures (about 2cm high models) of each of the doctors, and my regard for the costume is swiftly divebombing. I did the red piping on 5's jacket. I did the little red questionmarks on 7's sweater. That was fine. But this is impossible.

Kings Demons: a defence

Edited:4th May 2009

What makes Doctor Who better than any other program when our heroes go around saving the world? The Doctor. Wasn't that painless? All I ask of an episode is buckets of character moments, and this had them in abundance. Perhaps it was the shorter running time, chopping out padding in favour of what is absolutely necessary? It certainly defines his attitude towards the Master better than anywhere else, and vice versa.
The Doctor is on his merciful finest form here, trying to save everyone, in various ways and with mixed results. The Doctor's open offer of help to the family defines his motives just as the Master's "universe domination" speech spells out his ultimate goal. While the Doc comments the Master's plan is only "small time" villainy, to me it seemed thoroughly consistent with his character. It works through disguise and subtlety; he manipulates the robot-king, the Doctor and his hosts in turn, and is one of his few plans cunning enough to actually succeed. I love all the double dealing that goes on, each of them adapting to the changing situation with that poor family stuck in the middle.
Their final scene also made me understand their relationship better than ever before. Despite the lives at stake, I felt a genuine sense of chess honour in their dealings, like a sophisticated game for the two higher beings. The Doctor and the Master could have permanently stopped the other, hundreds of times; here, there is a sense that to do that would be very unsporting and not at all cricket - especially with the Master's claim that the challenge "inspires him". The Master does eventually get to cry "kill the Doctor!", but in my reading of the episodes I've seen (excepting, um, Logopolis), I don't believe he would actually let it happen - not permanently. The Doctor's language here reinforces the image - his reminder that humans are "a primitive people", his question "can anyone play?" As much a game to both of them? Once the Doctor liberates Kamelion, he doesn't press his advantage (does he ever?). He dashes off, with an unspoken agreement that the Master will leave too. He could have easily continued without the robot - instead, he leaves immediately. The Doctor even leaves the Tissue Compression Eliminator - a blatantly terrible idea from a moral standpoint, but not in terms of a game. Screwing up his TARDIS is part of the fun and well within the rules; confiscating it would put it on an all too serious level. Particularly coming straight after Enlightenment, another story about rival higher beings who are entertaining themselves at the expense of everyone else. There, the Doctor is naturally horrified; but there is something similar in his dealings with the Master.
The Master gets a lot of fun in this story. Once he has lost the swordfight (which is terribly fun in its own right), his control over the robot-king could have easily followed up on the Doctor's unwillingness to kill him, and let him depart in a simple way. Instead, he demonstrates how he knows his old friend and gives him a good moral twist - letting the robot-king condemn him to death, making the Doctor choose between them, and knowing that he will be forced to "kill" him by a different route. These adversaries go way back - the Master's accusation of "moral scruples", or suggestion he regenerate is as much the banter of friends.

That's pretty much all the fun that is to be had here. The medieval background is atmospheric and nicely done - especially the musical interlude, which sets the scene and makes for a creepy reveal. The supporting characters are about as good as ever they are, although the faux-Shakesperian talk got old quickly. King John is also excellent - sinister, powerful, and pantomime in the best of ways.
As for the companions, Tegan again gets to demonstrate why she polarises people - on the one hand, all she does is moan; on the other, she is a fully rounded human being, who takes objection to being cold and threatened with death when they could be on a warm space-beach instead (it's interesting to see her attempt murder too, just a few episodes after a great conversation between her and Turlough on the topic in Terminus. It's easy to forget Auntie Vanessa, but boy doesn't she get vital.). We also get to see the Doctor finally react to her nagging, in a scene which says a lot about both of them. Certain quarters could also have a field day with Kamelion turning into Tegan, and the suggestion that that image is the strongest in the Doctor's mind. I leave that romantic minefield to you...
Turlough doesn't have as much to do, although a friend has noted he whines just as much without the Black Guardian over his shoulder as with. His final line to the Master is pretty good too - it's nice to allow the boy a flash of heroism once in a while, even if provoked by irritation. Companions are always fatally under-written, especially in the older bits of the old series. Turlough has always been for me a triumph of performance over script - he really can wring an interesting role even out of the most mundane dialogue, as here.
It also contains one of the few "goofy moments" the Fifth Doctor would ever pull. The Doctor is, at his core, a curious and arrogant genius who tries to help people, while mucking about to disguise how dark and scary he can get. You could give points, if you like - 3 was more arrogant and less dark, 4 was predominantly daft arrogance, 7 is famously darker and scarier. When you cut it down to points, the 5th Doctor does seem to be lacking in several quarters. He can be all of those things at times, but just isn't. This backs up my theory that he is the "mid life crisis Doctor", which I'll someday explain (the gist is, he does all the things he's always done, but somehow it doesn't work as well - Midnight in slow motion, spread over 3 years if you like).

Sir Extra -"But he is the best swordsman in France!" The Doctor - "Luckily, we are in England..."

All in all, an enjoyable episode which is unfairly maligned. It certainly comes highly recommended for AinleyMaster fans, because I think its one of his best (I prefer Planet of Fire, but I love that for other reasons and he's much better here).