And now let's meet the eight, who are going to regenerate

So I've been angsting, but the fact remains that regeneration is something I'm qualified to talk about, having seen a greater percentage of regenerations than anything else (i.e. Dalek episodes, companion entry/departure episodes, episodes with "Time" in the title...).

So overanalysing what's going to be goin' down next year, what are the key features of a decent, final turn in the scarf?

It should be a GOOD EPISODE
Obviously - Planet of the Spiders is something of a let down, as regenerations go, because your sadness is overwhelmed by your relief that the damn thing is over. There's naturally a runaway winner in this catagory, but let's just pause to remember just how brilliant it really is, start to finish.



It should be FAIR TO THE NEW GUY

...who we're ALWAYS going to hate on sight, no matter how hard you try. But let's not make the process any worse than it needs to be? The Christmas Invasion does this brilliantly - by keeping Tennant out of the action, by the time he wakes up the situation is so dire you're just glad to see the Doctor - any Doctor! Relief smooths over any qualms one might have had.

It should be ALL ABOUT DEATH

Or should that be all about change? Logopolis-Castrovalva, a pair of episodes which can't be praised highly enough, never let you forget what they're doing - saying goodbye to the old Doctor, with the presence of the Watcher throughout, and welcoming the new. This process spans all eight episodes. Compare, if you like, Planet of the Spiders and Robot - which clearly want to get that actor-swapping process over as quickly as possible, to better get onto something with tentacles.

In a slightly more downbeat approach, Caves teases us throughout - "shooting" him in the first cliffhanger, and then proceeding to put him in virtually constant pain and/or danger for the next three parts - the underlying irony being that it doesn't matter how many times he dodges death, it's all heading that way anyway.

It should be THEMATICALLY SATISFYING

No just popping it in at the end, like an afterthought. It should be part of a culmination of everything that has come before. In that sense, the regeneration is a rebirth. Parting of the Ways is perfect for this reason - in rejecting the destruction of Earth, the events of the Time War have come full circle, and the angry "stupid apes" Doctor we are introduced to has found a sort of peace with his actions. You even feel you deserve that kiss.


Planet of the Spiders is the chief criminal of this approach - it's a shame the ultimate "face your fears" moral wasn't looped into earlier episodes. In returning the Master, Logopolis does have a stab at this - one last hurrah with a major villain, yet one who is utterly changed from the charming gent of the late 60s. It's a different world the Doctor is moving into. Caves too faces the thematic hurdle beautifully - after Earthshock, this is a Doc who absolutely positively cannot let Peri get hurt. You could also say it's the ultimate expression of the nastier the locale, the worse the Fifth Doctor fares - his major sucesses always seem to have a green tree within 100 metres, while the major botch-ups all occur on grim spacestations. I've always assumed, for lack of a better solution, that the backfiring Megabite Modem in the Fantasy Factory addled the Sixth Doctor's insides. This makes the Valeyard responsible, and I'm not sure there's anything more thematically apt than that. Seven too, as discussed below, gets a suitable passing.


It should STRIKE A BALANCE

I couldn't find a better way to put this: this is upsetting stuff. Typically, the production team either seem to attempt to make things as comforting as possible, or seemingly attempt to see just how traumatised they can leave their audience. One approach isn't necessarily more valid than another - I love Logopolis because, while it's sad and all, it does feel magesterial and bittersweet, and he's smiling. I've always regarded him as already on the way out - hence the presence of the Watcher - so you do feel that yes, the moment is prepared for and everything's going to be OK. Yet I also have admiration for the "...just when you thought things couldn't get any worse" school of regenerations, in all their Puccini-playing, blowhole-exploring, milk-drinking awfulness. Because it's unpleasant, and because it's ironic, and in the context of a kids TV show, making death a nasty painful process is a very brave thing to do.


Yet speaking as someone who actually has to go out and make a cup of tea during the TV Movie, however, it's possible that that one goes too far. My critical juices adore the irony of the Cosmic Chessmaster being cut down out of the blue and completely by accident, then dying through a non-heroic medical botch up. It's cruel, it's post-modern - it's too hard to watch.


To my mind, Planet of the Spiders gets it just right, because you have the comfort factor of his address to Sarah Jane, not to mention the Brigadier's aside, yet it's coupled with the sheer unpleasantness of radiation as a way to go (not helped by Paul Cornell's retconning of an extra eight years in the TARDIS home) and the crushing sadness of an unfinished "where there's life there's...". Not too cosy, but not too upsetting either.


It should JUST FEEL RIGHT


A culmination, then - not too sweet, not too sour, suited to the Doctor and his past adventures, yet leaving room for the new one to slot in alongside.




So what does this leave for 10?


It's going to be BIG and it's going to be CHEESY and the strings are going to make it THE SADDEST THING IN THE WORLD. Even though I can critically say that the best deaths are ironic and nasty, and that maybe it would be nice to do a "small" regeneration story - I'm not sure that a huge RTD-fest isn't genuinely what I want. In other words, I may actually have a breakdown if they go for the full Androzani, and take comfort from the fact it's almost 99% certain they won't.


I'd look to Logopolis for my template - with the whole story being set up with foreshadowing throughout, and that great heavy sense of loss and passing. And while it's very sad and very moving, it isn't too too traumatic, especially compared to other regenerations I could mention. He goes, saving pretty much everything in the process.


And if we're doing Tom Baker parallels, losing our immensely popular Doctor to this suspiciously young pretender, then why not bring the Master back just once more? He really is DT's ultimate villain, especially considering we really can't do Daleks yet again. And bringing him back would give the whole thing some serious thematic punch. We're almost certainly going to have one of those flashback montages, although it's seriously doubtful whether I'll be able to see the screen for Kleenex by that point. I'm quite upset by the idea he's going to be all on his own, but that doesn't mean I think bringing an old companion back is a good idea. Not in the slightest. Especially not Rose. Jack might work, now he's turning into the new series Brigadier.



God. All that came out pretty sane and lucid. Maybe I'll be able to cope after all :)