Caves of Androzani

"I'm telling you the truth, I keep telling you the truth, why does no one believe me?!"


246 days. That's the amount of time I've been putting off Caves of Androzani. At first it made sense - I had other 5 episodes to watch. And then I didn't any more. And then I watched Stolen Earth, had a three day breakdown and realised however well meant an action it was to watch it, it was a bout of depression in a box at a time when that's the last thing I need.

Goes without saying that I take my fiction too seriously when a death of someone who never existed, not even a death - a departure of an actor for another one I esteem as highly, when I've always claimed actors don't matter, and its not even the end because I've still got five or six other episodes, countless books and audios anyway; that all that can worry me more than my A-level results. Although having something that really doesn't matter to worry about is something of a comfort - it means you spend less time worrying about something that does.

It goes without saying that I'm very, very traumatised - more or less than usual I'm not sure, but the recovery phone call took 74 minutes instead of the 45 that Stolen Earth occupied. I felt chatty instead of quiet, but apparently I didn't make much sense. I ambled about a bit in the way I always do after serious fictional shellshock. I tried to think of something to do, and quite frankly the only thing I came up with was watching it again - that's the quickest episode turnaround I've managed since Utopia.

Anyway, I'm back in one piece enough to write about it now, and they're right, you know. They're always right about the good ones. For the record, its better than Genesis of the Daleks too. That episode is a classic because of the introduction of Davros, for some fantastic scenes and a great story. But there are still problems which we ignore because the rest is so damn awesome. The padding. The whole Sarah-on-the-rocket subplot. The clam. Not so Caves - the plot is clockwork perfect - a little human story set against a big human background. The Doc is the catalyst for everything that happens, but he's never a part of it. It's a tragedy in slow motion, if you like - we know our heroes are slowly slipping off for the entire episode, and their struggle is occasionally interrupted by almost irrelevant short scenes about the background war, which gets more and more absurd and complex as it goes. It's all heading to a dead stop - but after setting off the chain of events, the Doctor plays no part in the surrounding mess. Brilliant! Two awesome stories at once, almost unconnected. It also holds the peculiar distinction of being the only episode ever where the doctorless bits have retained the same level of interest for me throughout. I always tend to switch off a little - they're important, of course, but once you've heard one meglomaniac tell an underling that this is the final stage in their master plan, you've heard them all. In the name of Moffat, what was the point of those Silurian scenes in Warriors of the Deep? These things are unconvincing unless actors are around to help them out with a little bluff.
Anyway. Thematically this makes sense too. Even after he stopped calling Adric "Jamie" in Castrovalva, working out who he is has been a major problem. Earthshock, Resurrection, Planet of Fire, Warriors of the Deep - he just can't make it work. Too much violence? Not enough? Mercy in the wrong places, or at the wrong time? Lots of lovely angst. Here, it's like giving up - he's come out of Planet of Fire a different fellow. Lots of people have been saying "more determined", but I'd suggest his priorities have changed. He doesn't bother helping the good guys or bad guys, as if he's tried so hard and failed so often he can't go through it again. Instead he focuses on rescuing Peri for the whole thing - one good action, without a single shade of grey. I'm actually tempted to say this is a few months after Planet of Fire - even though giving up his life for a total stranger is an irresistibly Doctorish thing to do, he seems to be a lot more determined and resolved in this one - as if time has passed in between. Makes space for the audios too. And of course, it's an Adric thing too. Yes, it's something any Doctor would do, but it takes on a special significance here - after Adric and Kamelion, he just can't lose another companion.
Perhaps because of his lack of involvement with everyone else, the Doc gets a lot a lot of action in this one. I quite like that. Most episodes when he gets imprisoned, the prison is just a plot impediment - he's out in two shakes and ready to move onto the next scenario. Take a look at episode 3's climactic excape. A whole five minutes - he breaks the thing on the wall, it clunks to the floor - but no one comes in - then he's got to break the cuffs open, and so on. We get the whole process in tense detail. Suddenly, it's James Bond - we've got close ups and cuts, and it feels like we're in the middle of a movie - not some static TV show with lots of standing about in corridors. One of those episodes which would make a fantastic movie, even without the DW tag.

I've heard a lot said about how much better 5 is here than anywhere else. It's the Deadly Assassin factor - the favourite Master episode of people who don't really like the Master that much. In that episode, he's barely the bearded chuckler we all love - and people who claim its his finest hour either hate the character basics, or mean it's the best episode which just happened to involve him. Five is different in this, and I'm not sure why - not script or performance. All his notable traits are there, but it feels more like its been written for another Doctor. Perhaps it's the determination of ignoring everything but Peri, the certainty it gives him in not having to worry about anything else. It certainly feels like he's decided who he is. But its still not exactly the Doctor I fell in love with, which probably explains why its so much more popular than any other episode...it certainly deserves the label of the best episode he's ever happened to be involved in, maybe even the best performance. But something is wrong and I can't quite place it.

You can almost feel him turning into 6 as it goes - the regeneration just crystallises the change. He turns up and investigates in a very 6like manner, and the comment that Jek is arrogant in assuming their intelligence is equal is also pure 6. Can't you see him in this just as easily? In fact, can't you see any Doctor?


But I do like it. In Planet of Fire, even though there isn't a visible sign like the Watcher, I feel he's ready to go. Now I love it when heroes die accidentally, and you can put the Spectrox down to a case of damn bad luck. But time really does run out for the Fifth Doctor here, and Androzani isn't going to let him leave alive. The Doctor makes an occupation of escaping death - here, it's always moments away. Ripped apart by androids? Shot by angry gun runners? Or beaten up by them? Or beaten up by Morgus' heavies? Shot by Chellak's guard? Or by the android? He really does stay on his toes, with the underlying irony that however many times he dodges immediate death, that's where its all heading anyway. The twin abilities to look like it really hurts and to pull off scared are really the best assets PD brought to the role, and he gets to use both aplenty here. Despite this, and despite the surrounding misery of the world, the episode is on the whole uplifting - the focus is on going out a hero, instead of dying by accident. Compare, for example, Logopolis which feels weary and tragic from the start. And I should know - I was expecting to have a miserable time of this, especially because death is the theme the whole way through - but despite the grim surroundings, the tone is thrilling, not depressing. You genuinely want to find out what happens next, leaving no time to dwell at all.


Onto everything else. Peri was awesome in this, and its not a word I apply to companions all that often (Donna excepted). Particularly her scene with Jek - "Do you think I am mad?" "Are you afraid". Man, companions who act?! She and the Doctor are just too cute, and their joint scenes with Sharak Jek are priceless. Kudos to the direction too - its quite a pretty stylistic ballet the characters have got going on there, with how they are placed in relation to each other et al. And I always approve of companionhugging.

I've forgotten the villains - they deserve mention. Or rather, the fact I've forgotten to mention them is a tribute to their performances. Weren't they good? Rather, give half of their lines to a lesser actor and its reduced to pantomime. I mean seriously, have you heard Sharak Jek's dialogue? Basically, its awful. But oh how good is the delivery that you barely notice. Morgus is also good, and again its a role created by the performance not the words. Though the words are good as well. Having the lift engineer shot, reducing a minutes silence to thirty seconds - classic cold villainy.

It was also very, very, very violent. And mean too. Have you ever noticed the all time greats are invariably ones you wouldn't show to children? The scene where Gun Runner 1 threatens his partner with poison, knife and drop simultaneously was particularly intense. And blood! How many times do you see that on our show - if you answered The Deadly Assassin, then you are correct. TV Movie too. Aside from that, you'd think we were made of straw inside. Not only violent, threatening. I'm sure I've noted before how hard it is to make an audience believe the characters are in danger. Even if you aren't looking at the casting news, companions will only die towards the end of series and then rarely, the Doctor won't die at all. Getting worried for such untouchables is surely a waste of time; situations where we feel afraid deserve special congratulations. I felt afraid. I also think that the closer you look at Jek's lines, the faster you'll want to move your children out of the room.

What else? Wonderful direction - actually, any direction passes as impressive for Doctor Who. Wonderful sets - it feels like a real world, and I love the exterior shots. The beautiful final image of Sevateem-android following Jek's final command as the mud crashes through - this is deep stuff.

It's every bit as good as you've been told it is, and more besides.