The Magician's Apprentice

What a promising mess.

The new series has constantly, constantly suffered from this sort of flabby, indulgent plot. Moff and RTD both. It's contrived, and charcters behave bizzarely just to navigate the plot to the BIG EMOTIONAL MOMENTS which the writer wants to steer to. I'll be happy if there was never a prophecy about the Doctor's death never again. No more "his time has come", no more cryptic "Davros remembers". For what it's worth, I don't buy a Doctor who would go gentle into that good night. Coward - every time.

The Doctor walks into a trap, and is surprised when it's traumatic? He's smarter than that - he ought to have a plan. My favourite Doc-Villain confrontation of all time is in Timelash, that well-known stinker of an episode. In that episode, Six also willingly walks in to appeal to a villain's better nature. But by god he has a plan in case that doesn't work. Believe the best, and plan for the worst - that seems like the only logical course of action for a 900 year old genius to take. Now I liked self-hate as a Nine and Ten thing, but I don't think willingly walking to his death for no good reason bar angst is an innately Doctorish quality. It's not just out of character, though - it's unsatisfying for the audience. So far in this series, our hero has had no agency. I'd really rather watch the Missy-And-Clara show.

Clara continues to be the best damn thing in this show. I loved her last series, and continue to do so. She is the hero I want. I continue to struggle with Capaldi's performance - he's too prickly, too cold. But Clara is smart, compassionate, enthusiastic, bursting with life and generally proactive. I feel safe with her on screen, in a way I don't about the Doctor - and that is a serious flaw.

Last night I caught some Sylvester McCoy, and it just hit home what is missing. Doctor Seven is arguably the most terrifying and chilly of the incarnations. Doctor Seven saw everything on an infinite scale, and was constantly crushing butterflies to prevent them flapping their wings and causing hurricaines down the line. Time's Champion - the Oncoming Storm - the Destroyer of Worlds - the Cosmic Chessmaster. He's small and unassuming, and you underestimate him at your peril because there's a chance he's already defeated you before you start your war. He's also manipulating his companion, Ace, constantly pulling strings behind her back for her own good. Yet Seven and Ace's relationship is one of the warmest, one of the sweetest in the whole series. He loves jazz; he plays the spoons; he whistles like a bird. I feel safe with Doc Seven - even though he does some lousy things, you do like him and you can see why Ace flies with him. Not so Twelve - I wouldn't trust him not to ditch me on a planet on a whim, without looking through all the other options first.

With that in mind, I loved his introduction this series. You have no idea how important seeing this Doctor rescue someone is to me - I have yet to see enough hero. "You have a thousand to one chance of living. So concetrate on the one." is a template for how this Doc ought to be written going forward. He can be pessimistic and blunt, but that must be tempered by hope and heroism somewhere down the line.

Of course - he didn't save the kid. But we live in hope.

Ohhh, and Missy. When UNIT figured out that the schtick with the planes was someone looking for attention - I should have guessed. This episode was such a gift to Master fans. I like her. I think she is potentially the greatest Master ever - or at least, certianly a worthy successor, a clear part of what came before. She's goofy, dangerous, cold, anarchic, and she manages to capture
the kiss-you-or-kill-you relationship with the Doc with perfect ambiguity. When they are plonked on the floor in the Dalek cell, Missy doesn't sit like a woman - or even an adult. And she doesn't move or sit like she knows she's wearing a dress (if you've ever worn a full skirt and a corset, you know it changes your entire posture and bearing - Missy might as well be wearing a hologram). The way she moves is indefinably alien, uncanny valley in a bustle and boots. Like the best Doctors and Masters both, you forget at your peril that they are not human.

I've always liked the idea of the Master travelling with a companion, and Clara is a perfect foil. That scene in the square as the Master takes tea makes canon the things which were long subtextual.

Of course the Doctor let the Master survive and didn't tell anyone; and "of course" the Doctor's will was delivered to her too. "Since always" is probably the best encapsulation of their friendship that could be (childish and insistant, in defiance of all the facts). I have always privately believed that Timelord sexuality is considerably more weird and cerebral than ours, so the Master's comment "don't be disgusting, we're Timelords, not animals" makes perfect sense. Timelords, in the books at least, are birthed in looms - and when you see them, they are cold and staid. You can tell that indulging in emotions and the senses is unbecoming. The Doctor, in contrast, is so passionate - he loves good food, and wine, and humans with all their funny emotions, and probably sex too. One imagines the Timelords are embarassed by how far he's gone native - getting involved when he should merely watch and record, and drinking fine red wines and buying a car and all manner of unmentionable indulgences. With all that already in my mind - I like an onscreen clarification that the Master-Doctor's relationship is canonically important, but also far huger and weirder than Clara can really wrap her head around.

OK, let's talk about the Daleks and Davros now.

Who else guessed that was Skaro? A radioactive wasteland with bows and arrows, bombs and weird mutated things. The hand mines are one of the first Moff gimmick monsters I've loved in ages - very scary, but kinda camp and pun-full at the same time. How brilliantly 80s Who.

Stories about the Doctor wiping out the Daleks - especially ones where he wipes them out before they are created - is an old, familiar tale. Some might say, too iconic to touch again. But you could also say that it is an important part of the Dalek trope, and it's as impossible to do Daleks without that conversation as it is to do it without "exterminate". Moff acknowledges this hallowed ground by incorporating the old Doctor quotes - especially Four in Genesis of the Daleks, which is the touchstone for this plot. I liked Davros' reintroduction - tired and old, almost Vaderlike in his coccoon.

I'm not sure how far the Doctor's choice not to save baby Davros made sense - not least because maybe the name "Davros" is like Smith, Khan or Singh on Skaro. Did he think that Davros would die there...? Seeing as, presumably, the Daleks were always going to be created anyway - wouldn't it be better to do the right thing and save him? Maybe I have such a feeble sense of this doctor's personality because his leading trait is vacillation - neither saving nor killing a child, but opting out of responsibility or interest.

This was a deeply continuity-based episode, and I wonder how that was recieved by the Not-We. Clearly, Davros backstory + Skaro + revisiting Genesis + the relationship counselling with the Master is ortolans and caviar to the We, but for a casual fan those things lack emotional depth and significance. If you haven't seen Genesis of the Daleks, and don't already know who Davros is, and didn't squeal over the old-style Daleks - there's not much for you here. Nevertheless, I loved the ambition - hopping from planet to planet and time to time to knot one huge plot together. Brave and brilliant.

I am looking forward to seeing where this goes, but my expectations are quite low - I expect part 2 will suffer from the same fluffy, angst-driven plotting as part 1 was.

A lot will depend on the Doctor - especially now Missy and Clara are out of action. What I need to see is a sense of person, of an inner man - I still can't do you a thumbnail sketch of either of Moff's Doctors, they seem too diffuse, too much a collection of ideas that never quite come together to form a complete personality. I would also like to see, as I said, some heroism. Doctors have always been dangerous, petulant, abrasive and able to make tough choices. But that's only half of it. Give me the other half.


Great lines
"I spent yesterday in a bow tie. I spent the day before in a long scarf."
"How scared must you be to seal your own kind in tanks"

"Jane Austen - phenomenal kisser"

"tread softly"

Miscellany

• Massive unbelieveable plothole - the moment Clara says "Quick, kids! Turn on your phones!". What sort of secondary school allows students mobile phones?!
• Did you see them include a Sixth Doctor quote? I say this because when they do "old-Doctor-montages", they inevitably cut the Sixth Doctor out.
• Kate! 
• Anyone else spot they are playing Nick Cave in the cantina in the future?
• I loved the idea of a character who is, in fact, a Colony. That's a pleasing bit of future-writing. 
• When i wrote my master spinoff, he liked the song Micky.
• The Master and Clara stepping out into the stars is a 100% Fiona Cummings moment, and no one will tell me otherwise. 
• I love the title. Does anyone know why they chose it? I love it because I've no idea what it means, and that reminds me of the enigmatic Fifth Doctor episode titles. Enlightenment. Four to Doomsday (four what?!). Castrovalva. 

Timanov's Ongoing Count Of Times The Master Mentions Burning: 2
Steve Moffat Tropewatch: important children: 1
Number of people the Doctor has rescued: 0